I have been having a lot of thoughts in my head lately. I know. Shocking. But, really, I have been thinking about being a mom. Or, a parent in general. And what it means to be a good parent. A good mom. How much can a mom do and still do right by her children? How many kids can a family raise and raise correctly? How much is too much?
This stems from a rash of pregnancies both here in blog land and in my real life mother's group. And I am wondering when and if we will have another child. On one hand.... I don't want this to be it. I want to experience pregnancy again. I want to have another sweet smelling, cuddly baby in my life. I want to have those feelings again.
But is this just a yearning for the feelings? Or is it a true yearning for another CHILD. Because, as we all know, the actual raising of a child is much more than sweet smelling, cuddly baby feelings.
And I am trying to figure out where I stand on this. Am I, as a mom, capable of loving, nurturing and raising another child? Where do I draw the line and say... this is it? This is all that I can do and still do it well.
And, in the same vein, am I doing well as it is? What defines being a good mother? You can keep your child safe, fed, dry, clothed, with a roof over their heads and make sure they go to school. But that is not all there is to raising children. Am I doing what needs to be done to make my children into good adults? Are they happy? Will they BE happy? Who knows? Not me. I mean, I THINK I am doing a decent job. I KNOW that I am stretched thin. I would never even think about having another baby right now. There is no way in hell I could handle another one right now.
But when will the time be right? And if I wait for the time to be right.... will it ever happen? Do we really want it to happen?
Too many thoughts in my head. Too many questions. I know that we will be waiting at least until The Boy is in Kindergarten before we get pregnant. So why am I even worrying about it now?
Baby Fever. Coming to a womb near you.
Feel free to tell me your thoughts on what makes a good parent. And also on when, how and if you decided enough was enough. I really am interested!