Bug Bites and Potty Humor

So, Saturday, my youngest decided that ant piles are for playing in. He sat his chubby little ass down right in a huge fire ant bed. And proceeded to play. While the ants crawled all over him and into his diaper. I did not see the ant pile so was unaware that there was an issue. I think he didn't understand what was going on when they first started biting him. He did get up and start to walk to me. When I saw him crying I went running.

It was straight out of a horror flick. I started swiping at his legs to get the ants off and then pulled off his diaper. I swear, he was COVERED in fire ants. By the time I got them all off I was freaking out at all the bites. From the middle of his back to about his knees he is covered in ant bites. He has some on his neck, arms and feet but not many. His inner thighs and diaper area are the worst. I guess they went for warm, damp area and went to town.

He is doing fine with them, no signs of any allergies and he has an appointment at the doctor scheduled for tomorrow anyway so I will have him take a look at the bites to make sure all is well. But, it scared me to death. Poor baby. He doesn't seem to be bothered at all by them, though... a little itchy but he went right back to playing afterwards with no side effects.

On a lighter note.... we are working on potty training our middle child. Because of his speech problems, we are not pushing, just working at his pace. Since he cannot TELL us that he has to go, we are working slowly. But, the other night, the funniest things happened.

The Boy decided to go on the potty. While he was doing his business, the Baby decided he was going to go on the potty too. So he sat on the Boy's lap. LOL I got him off and when the boy finished, I took the babies diaper off so he could sit on the potty. The Boy was patting the potty and going "Here, Mal-Mal" (That's what he calls his brother). So, "Mal-Mal" sat on the potty and his brother proceeded to show him how to aim and then when he was done, showed him how to shake it off. I was trying my damnedest not to just laugh until I cried. They were very serious about the whole process. So, the baby hopped up and ran around for a minute. Then he came back and peed again. He did this four times! LOL He may be trained before his big brother!

Speaking of potty training......

The Boy was on the potty the other day and he was checking himself out. Must be a guy thing. Anyway, he looked at me and pointed at himself and said "Look, Mama, Bubbles!". I almost strangled myself trying not to laugh at him as I told him that they weren't bubbles but were balls. He got this weird look on his face and looked back down at himself. Then back at me. Then back at himself. And said, in a very shocked and suspicious tone, "BALLS??!!??".... LMAO. I almost had a stroke. So, I explained to him that they were really called testicles but we sometimes call them balls. I don't think he believes me. I just hope he doesn't decide to try to bounce them.

Hai!

HAI!! I missded you guysss!!!!



I has compooter that workses now!
I post again soon!

Snotty Days Are Here Again

First, I must welcome Hallie and Mr. Sock Monkey to my great state and little blog... Welcome! If you do not read Hallie over at the Wonderful World of Wieners every day then you must! She is a riot!

Next, I am welcoming snotty noses into my home once again. The season of snot has commenced with the official running of the snot. All three of my children are participating in the games. And I am sure that my husband and I will be roped into joining as well! Please welcome snot into your home as well! It really is not truly Fall until that first snotty nose makes it's appearance. And it fills me with such joy to watch the little ones licking snot from their upper lips... joy and nausea...

Steven has a last interview with the new restaurant today. The manager has to discuss money with him. Hopefully, tomorrow I will be posting that he has a new job! And, hopefully, he can start right away and not have to work out a miserable 2 weeks at the old job. We'll see what the a-hole boss says when he puts in notice.

Tomorrow I plan to discuss Halloween costumes. Ours in particular and all of them in general. So, get ready with your costume stories! I want to know what the weirdest costume you ever wore was. Also, your fave, the funniest and the grossest! Until tomorrow.....

The Breath of Fall

I remember when I was younger, waiting in the dark for the school bus to come and pick me up. My favorite days were the days when the weather was just creeping over into Autumn. Standing in the darkness, in the silence. Alone and at peace. Surrounded by crisp, cool air, fresh and invigorating. My breath like a fountain of mist drifting in the still air. Whenever I think of school I always remember those mornings. And whenever the weather starts to cool off I remember them as well.

Tonight it is int he 60s here which is practically freezing for the south! LOL Of course, it won't stay that way. In a couple of days it will be back to 90s in the day and 80s at night. We won't really get feeling like Fall until mid to late November.

But, for tonight, I feel the cool air and I remember.

Now, please excuse me..... I am going to go dance in the cool air and feel the breath of Fall on my body.

Happy Birthday Hubby!

War and death, loss and despair - people dying everywhere, BUT! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!

Now that you're the age you are, your demise cannot be far. BUT! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!

We like children, yes we do, boiled or baked or in a stew. BUT!  Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!

At your age most folks go blind; you've kept your sight but lost your mind. BUT! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!

May the candles on your cake burn like cities in your wake. BUT! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!

Hear the women wail and weep; kill them all but save the SHEEP! BUT! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!

There are many many more verses but I will leave it at that to try to keep it vaguely PG 13 LOL.

Happy Birthday, honey! I am so glad you were born and then decided to grow up into such a great man! Turning 38 just means you are getting distinguished. Not old. Really! Love you!!

Proud Mama

My eldest child, Jen, is an extremely special young lady. If any of you have read her blog, The Delusional, then you might know a little about that! LOL But, today I want to share with you an essay that she wrote for her Advanced English class.


The River Sings
By Jen

Picture, if you will, the mighty Suwannee River. The swift current; the majestic cliffs; the mighty cypress trees lining the tranquil banks. There is a certain peace found there that I have yet to encounter anyplace else -- indeed, I have found nowhere even remotely close.


On this majestic beast of a river, I need no paintbrush. Everybody puts on at least a thin mask for the world to see; every being brushes on at least one thin layer of paint. When I decend the old, creaky wooden steps I am overcome with an overwhelming sense of place. The mask falls; the paint is washed away. The Suwannee knows all my deepest secrets -- it needs not to see the facade.


I leap from the bottom step onto the warm, sandy riverbank. My river waves to me as it rushes by.


"Hello," it says to me. "My child, how I have missed you. Welcome home."


I smile, recognizing the truth in its words. I am a daughter of the Suwannee; my soul runs free here.


Stepping lively, I race to my river and dive into its depths. A fish swims past, nibbling at my toes. I make my way down to the bottom and brush the submerged sand with the tips of my fingers.


I linger a moment before lack of breath -- and the buoyant red life jacket I wear -- force me to leave. My head breaks the surface and I wipe my duckweed-coated hair from my face.


Having greeted and in turn been welcomed by my Suwannee, I go to help my companions load the canoes. It is time to work, and I can swim again when we reach the campsite.


Later, after the boats are loaded and lunch is devoured, we shove off. A delightful thrill runs up and down my entire being, tickling my spine and awakening my senses.


The familiar scent of my Suwannee reaches my nose. I inhale deeply, relishing the sweet, earthy smell of my true home. A sigh of pleasure escapes me.


"My child, my child. Tell me, what do you think?" asks my Suwannee.


I set down my paddle for a moment -- leaving my boat partner still powering forward. I must pick it back up in a moment. I dip my hand into the water and pluck from it a small feather.


"Oh, my mother, my mother," I say. "Your scent; the sight of you; the taste, your touch, your sound -- they awake in me an eternal flame that nothing can extinguish. My soul flies free, through both the water and the trees."


"My child, my child," the river sighs. "Oh dear daughter, you return."


"I will always return to this, my home; and to you, my mother," I say. "How can I not? For you brink me to life; you sing to my soul. This...this is what it feels like to be truly alive."


I pick up the paddle and continue on the journey. The combined power of the paddle's strokes and my Suwannee's current carry us farther down its length. I smile.


The river sings.



And THAT is talent. One day soon I have a feeling that we will be reading this young lady in print. And Oh what a proud Mama I will be!

Sadness

It's hard to believe that it has been seven years since America's heart was broken and her soul squeezed with terror and horror. I know that for me, the anniversary is a day to feel my heartache and to shed a tear in remembrance. A day to remember WHY we need to be vigilant and strong as a country. I hope we never forget or allow the memory to become a bad dream.

So many people seem to have forgotten. I know that it is not healthy or realistic or even necessary to dwell on what happened every day. But, where is the feeling of unity and outrage that was there in that first year? Is it gone or just dulled? Has it been replaced with sullen anger over our war in Iraq? Do people hate Bush and this war so much that there is no room for the sadness and regret for the lives lost on 9/11/01?I don't know. Maybe I am just not out in society enough to see it. I know whenever I see a plane I remember. Whenever I see pictures of New York or of Iraq.... I think of the scenes of death and destruction seven years ago.

My heart aches and my soul burns for the families and friends of those lost in the terrorist attacks. I was lucky enough to lose only my blinders and my faith in our safety.

I am quiet today. I am thoughtful. And I am sad.

And I should be. We all should be. I hope I never lose that sadness. Because then I think I will have lost my humanity.

Rest In Peace.

Castles in the Sky

I am building castles in the sky today. Castles full of hopes and dreams and plans. Plans to get out of debt.Plans to be able to pay my bills without having to be a master of juggling. Plans to be able to hire a babysitter every now and then and have date night with my husband. Plans to be able to see my husband more and spend time as a family when he is not exhausted.

Steven had his first interview at a different restaurant yesterday. I won't share the name at this time but will say that it is a national chain. They have pretty much guaranteed him the position. Now he has to meet with the General Manager to discuss money. Then it is time for a decision. He says that he has been making his decisions in the past based upon what is best for him. But now he is making decisions based upon what is right for the family. Way to grow up! I just hope that this position will make him at least semi-happy while making us financially stable. I have always told him I did not care where he worked as long as he was happy and the bills were paid. But things have been pretty tight lately. I will be happy to be a little better financially. AND have more time with my husband! I have almost felt like I was married to a stranger for the past year or so. Time to get back to the basics.

So now, let's all cross our fingers that my castle in the sky is not blown away by the winds of reality.

The Biggest Loser, Bdays and BJs

Better day today.... I just have those days, ya know?

Tomorrow The Girl and I are starting our own version of The Biggest Loser..... Faerie Style! We will weigh in every week for the next six months and atthe end of that time, we will have a winner. Actually, I think I mighthave three categories which gives me a better chance of winning something! LOL Most pounds lost, most inches lost and percentage of fat lost. We will do a monthly weigh in, measure and fat check at Curves and see what happens.

I haven't decided on prizes yet.... any ideas?

The boys have been whiney most of the day today. It really is one of the worst things possible. I could stand screaming fits better than whining!! But, I handled things fine today... must have been PMS.

My husband has been talking about getting a different job since this summer's pay fiasco... but today he actually made steps in that direction. Go honey! As far as I am concerned it could not happen soon enough. His boss and he are at each other's throats all the time. Steven is stressed and depressed which just makes things harder for me. I really hope things work out the way he is talking aboutand we can get situated in a different situation, LOL.

My husband will be turning 38 on Friday. Wow. I now have to decide on the coolest thing to do for him for his bdaythat won't cost much money. I mean, other than a BJ. That's pretty much a given! LOL Any suggestions for cheap bday joy for the hubby?

Anger Managment

I have had a bit of a rough day today. I have been struggling with a lot of anger and resentment for most of the day. My stomach is tied in knots and I don't feel well as a result. I know I have mentioned in the past that I have a bad temper. I just cannot seem to work through it today. And TRYING not to take it out on the kids is making me tense and even more irritable. Everything is bugging me. The messes, the laziness, the disrespect, the feeling that I am nothing but a servant in my own home, the lack of empathy on the part of my husband, the stupid shit that I do that makes it all worse... and my damn computer!

There is not one particular thing that I can pinpoint. I know that it is mostly a combination of being cooped up in the house with children and no adult conversation.... and some basic resentment of certain people who get to sleep in and then leave the house and stay away for a long time. Even if it is work.... at least it is around adults! I know I "should" be spending my days reveling in the joy of motherhood and the wonders of raising children. But, honestly, there are days when I could easily run away and not come home for a month. I think I am just tired and overwhelmed by everything that I have to do every day.

It's easy to say that I need to take a break and do something for myself. It is not as easy to actually do that. Lack of money and lack of me time leads to a basic lack of any ability to get away from this house and these kids. I love my children. I would never hurt any of them... but sometimes it is all I can do to handle the anger and frustration. The need to DO SOMETHING. ANYTHING. Anything that does not involve poop, slobber, dirty dishes or scrubbing floors.

I want to be that woman in a sharp suit leading a high powered meeting and going to lunches in fancy restaurants. I want to be that woman who follows her dreams and becomes a best selling author. I want to be that woman who travels the world meeting interesting people and having sex with strangers in exotic paces. I want to be that woman who runs her own business, who has designer clothes, who can go get her nails done or her hair done whenever it needs it instead of when she can afford it. I want to be that woman with a maid to clean up after her and a nanny to take care of the kids when they are too much. I want to be that woman with a perfect house, a perfect family and a perfect life.

And then I realize..... every one of those women is probably making a list of the women that they would rather be. Very few women (or men) are completely satisfied with their lives. Very few people don't have dreams and wishes and needs and desires that are sitting on a shelf waiting to be taken down and acknowledged.

And really, many women would give their left nut (if they had one) to be in my place. Instead of where they are.

So, while my anger still simmers, I am not consumed. I just need to get some rest.

And remember that the choices we make are sometimes dictated by necessity. And the future is never set in stone.

I will survive and I will do a great job at whatever my job is. And one day..... I will be exactly the woman that I want to be. Instead of the woman I need to be for now.

Mundane Madness?

I hate my computer. Really. And it hates me. That's why I have not been around much this week. The stupid thing has picked up some virus or bug or something and is trying to eat my soul. We must fix it. Which probably means wiping it completely and reinstalling the operating system. Again. Meanwhile, one of the ways in which the silly thing is trying to get me is by disabling my spell check. Gack. So, please forgive any horrible misspellings....

The past week has been hot and tiring and trying. My air conditioner decided to take a crap on Tuesday and was not fixed until yesterday. So I spent several days in sweltering, humid, nasty Mississippi weather with no AC and two screaming, incredibly irritable children. The husband and The Girl were able to escape for large chunks of time. We spent a lot of time outside as it was cooler than inside. Ha! Not by much but still.....

The Wingmen of Mayhem are planning something. I think that they are trying to lull me into a false sense of security. A belief that they are capable of behaving and not trying to kill each other for long periods of time. Just so that I drop my gaurd. But I am on to them! I will not lower my defenses! Although I did catch them climbing onto the headboard/ shelf of the older boys' bed and then jumping onto the bed from there..... we removed the headboard immediately. It was just asking for broken limbs or a cracked skull.

I have several very interesting posts and some new poetry floating around in my brain. Hopefully, if the computer cooperates, I will be posting again tomorrow. And then the next day. And MAYBE even the next day! I know! Shocking! Amazing! Awe inspiring!

Gustav a Gone Gone

Eh. No biggie. We are all fine here. We did not even get really heavy rains where I live. Some limbs down but no big ones. The power did not even flicker.

I will post something more later. Just wanted to update. We are taking the boys to McDonald's so that they can burn off some energy! Hope everyone else is safe and happy!