Epic Fail

So, I have epic fail on the blog front for the past few weeks. In my defense, things have been kind of crazy. However, in reality, I was avoiding the actual process of writing. Sometimes you need to ignore things. And, for me, when I physically write something out it becomes more "real". So, in order to avoid allowing certain things to gain that concrete "realness" in my head.... I just haven't written them down.

Not healthy. And it doesn't change a damn thing.

On February 15th (cause appointments were canceled on the 12th due to snow!) Braeden had his initial appointment with a psychologist. This was the basic "get to know him, get his history and observe him" appointment. The final outcome of the appointment was that the psychologist is fairly certain that he is falling within the autism spectrum.

Autism.

It seems to be the giant boogie man of the parental sphere anymore. It's the huge monster that looms in the background for any child deemed "different" or "odd". Any child with behavioral issues. Any child with socialization problems. Any child with developmental problems. That's the diagnosis that we all fear. Why?

For me, autism has been the elephant in my home for two years. The thing I tried not to think about or talk about. Even though I had a very good idea that that was really what was going on with my son.

Well, you can only ignore an elephant for so long before it tramples on your cats.

The diagnosis is by no means definite as of right now. We still have to go through the official evaluations. And we will also be having separate evaluations with another group. But. But....

I was not surprised by this. I was upset by it and disappointed. (It would have been really nice to hear that I was imagining the whole thing) But I was not surprised.

And there are so many other things that could be going on with him. SO many other issues that could be harder to deal with and with a much poorer prospect for his future.

But it sure is hard to finally look that elephant in the eyes and name it Norbert.

Jumpstart

A quick note to let everyone know we survived the great snowstorm of 2010 in Mississippi! We had about 3 inches of accumulation on Friday and had a blast playing in it. The kids loved seeing the snow actually falling and built snowmen and threw snowballs. Jenna made zombie snowmen in the front yard and we had the apocalypse going on.... red food coloring blood, snow corpse and all. I am missing the cord for my camera but Jenna has some pics up over here. I will try to post some more soon (once I find that damn cord).

All is well. I have had a rough few days. I had a meeting/ consultation with a psychologist regarding Braeden and will post about it later. Now I have to head up to his school for a late Valentines Day/ Mardi Gras party.....

ZOMG! It's The A-freaking-pocolypse!

Here in Southern Mississippi we are expecting about 3 - 5 inches of snow overnight. It is supposed to start this evening and snow off and on until around lunchtime tomorrow. Now, I am from Florida so I am probably overly excited about the prospect of seeing snow for the second time this year. However..... I am not freaking out.

Come on, folks! We are talking about MAYBE 3 inches of snow accumulation. Maybe. It will probably end up mostly sleet and rain. But when I stopped at wally world a bit ago to pick up a few things, you would have thought the end of the world was nigh!

People rushing everywhere, stockpiling on everything and lines out the ying yang. Wow. Personally, I keep about 2 - 4 weeks of food on hand at all times. And I have water. And I even have wood although we never use the fireplace because I do not trust my boys around it.

Come on folks. Even if we get the 5 inches, the chances that we will be "snowed in" or lose power are slim to none.

Personally, I am planning to make a snow man or two with the kids (school is cancelled for tomorrow) and watch the snow fall.

Then I plan on taking a hot bath and drinking some hot tea and relaxing.

I'll be back with pics of any snow we may get!

Kreative Blogger Award!

Mother Moon's Message bestowed an award upon me several weeks ago. In the midst of all of my drama and hullabaloo, I had not had a chance to post about it. So, here it is!

I am actually really really honored to get the Kreative Blogger award, seeing as how I have not felt very creative lately! Thank you so much for the award.

Seven Rules:
- Thank the person who gave the award to you - Thank you Mama Moon! I love your blog and really, truly appreciate the award.
- Copy the award to your blog - Done
- Place a link to their blog - See above!
- List 7 things people do not know about you - See below
- Nominate 7 other bloggers - See below
- Link to the bloggers you nominate - See below
- Comment on their blogs to let them know - Will do!

So, it has taken me some time to think of seven interesting things about myself. See, I don't generally think of myself as being all that interesting! Plus, I usually lay it all out there. There isn't too much about me that I have not talked about on this blog! LOL But, with some thought, and some help from my MIL, I came up with the following:

1. I am a Romulan... ha! I know, you are shaking your head now. But, that is what my MIL calls me. It's because I am weird about food. My SIL is the same way and so my MIL always called her a Romulan and now I am called that as well. I am weird about my food in that I do NOT like my food to touch any other food on my plate. Especially corn. Corn cannot be in anything or touch anything if I am going to eat it. Really. And if food touches on my plate, the part that has touched will PROBABLY be thrown away. My MIL periodically buys me divided plates and laughs at me. But, my food rules are serious. I have no control over it. It is just part of my weird OCDness!

2. I am a Virgo, born on August 28, 1974. My husband is also a Virgo (September 12, 1970). I share a birthday with his cousin. I am the same age as his sister. He is a Dog and I am a Tiger. His sister is also a Tiger. Tigers and Dogs get along really well.

3. My husband and I were both very close friends with the same person for more than a dozen years. But, we never met each other in all that time. The night that we finally met, we hooked up immediately. You can read more about our story here. Personally, I think we both had to grow and learn before we were right for each other, but it was fate that we be together eventually!

4. I used to run a quail farm. My father ran it for years and when he needed to retire, I took over. It was fun in some ways but too time consuming when I was working two other jobs. The quail were cute when they were little but boy are those birds dumb! I used to catch and deliver thousands of birds at a time to hunt clubs for hunters to shoot at. I always ended up with poop in my hair and scratches all over me from their little claws and beaks. Darn birds. ANd I don't even want to talk about trying to catch them when it had been raining and the flight pens were muddy!!!

5. I also used to work as a laborer for my father. He was a mason/ bricklayer. I worked for him for several years. I mixed up mud (mortar mix), stacked brick, cleaned joints, dug footers and did anything else he needed me to do. He was starting to teach me to lay brick, too. But, I was also working two other jobs at the time and the office job ended up winning out over the laboring jobw hen push came to shove. But I used to liek working with him and being out int he sun. I would wear a bikini top or tank top with some cut off shorts. The other construction workers used to give me lots of crap! LOL But I was in better shape then that at any other time in my life!

6. I never wanted children. When I was growing up, I never babysitted or even wanted to babysit. I thought babies smelled weird and never wanted to be tied down by kids. I wanted to be a single, strong woman with no ties so that I could do whatever I wanted. Then, I had my daughter at 19. And I still did not want any more children. I loved Jenna, never would have changed having her, BUT... that was it. Then, I ended up a SAHM with 3 kids. LOL And I love it. Just goes to show that you never can tell what life will bring to you. And sometimes, what you think you want is not what will be best for you.

7. My Mom just told me something really interesting. I called her and told her that I had no idea what #7 should be because I don't think I am very interesting. She told me that one of the things she thinks is most interesting about me (to her) is that while I am not religious at all and do not go to church, I am one of the most spiritual people she knows. ANd that my grandmother thinks the same thing! So, I guess one more interesting fact about me is that I view myself differently than others do! The things about myself that I think are just boring and jsut plain old me.... others think are interesting or fascinating.

ANyway!

I would love to give this award to 7 others.... but I suck at that kind of thing. Most people that I would have given this to have already gotten it. I do have a three bloggers that I enjoy who I think deserve this that I do not think have gotten it yet. I am sure there are more and if I think of any I will come back and post them as well! Here goes:

Christina from Beena's Blog
Ana from I'm a Hodge Podge
Lesley from Life at the Beck's

Heading out to let these ladies know..... I also got another award that I will try to post about soon. And I have plenty of everyday posts to write! LOL

Still here....

I'm still around. We are having some issues with Jenna and her emotional state/ school stuff/ teen stuff. I am just trying to get through each day right now.

Yesterday I met with the behavioral specialist for Braeden's school and went over her report/ evaluations of him from seeing him in class. meh. She is referring him to a specialist at USM for further evaluations. She didn't tell me anything I didn't know already and some things she said I did not agree with. But, a separate evaluation in addition to the one he will be getting from the psychologist he will see next week will be welcome. Independent evaluations and observations. We'll see what comes of them.

I have a meeting with Jenna's guidance counselor and her next week to discuss colleges and career choices since she is having such a difficult time right now.

I feel like I am running from one meeting to the mext, from one emergency/ situation to the next, from one problem to the next. I am getting nothing accomplished, just spinning my wheels....

I'll be back when I have something to say. Other than gah and meh.

Another Day - Another Struggle

First, thank you so much for the wonderful comments and emails. It really made my day easier!

Now, I must be honest. If I can't be honest here in blogland then where can I be honest? I smoked. I did. Although, I do not consider it a failure by any means. Rather than a normal pack and a half day, yesterday I smoked a half a pack. And each time I broke down, I reaffirmed my determination that I am done. I tried again each time. And I will try again today. I am int his for the long haul. I need to quit. I want to quit. I am quitting.

So keep on sending me warm thoughts of strength as I struggle through each day trying to make each smoke the last.

Seriously, it felt like there was a 178 foot cigarette standing outside my house peeking in the window at me. All day long. And it kept whispering to me. It sucked. I hate you giant cigarette addiction man. I hate you.