So, I have epic fail on the blog front for the past few weeks. In my defense, things have been kind of crazy. However, in reality, I was avoiding the actual process of writing. Sometimes you need to ignore things. And, for me, when I physically write something out it becomes more "real". So, in order to avoid allowing certain things to gain that concrete "realness" in my head.... I just haven't written them down.
Not healthy. And it doesn't change a damn thing.
On February 15th (cause appointments were canceled on the 12th due to snow!) Braeden had his initial appointment with a psychologist. This was the basic "get to know him, get his history and observe him" appointment. The final outcome of the appointment was that the psychologist is fairly certain that he is falling within the autism spectrum.
It seems to be the giant boogie man of the parental sphere anymore. It's the huge monster that looms in the background for any child deemed "different" or "odd". Any child with behavioral issues. Any child with socialization problems. Any child with developmental problems. That's the diagnosis that we all fear. Why?
For me, autism has been the elephant in my home for two years. The thing I tried not to think about or talk about. Even though I had a very good idea that that was really what was going on with my son.
Well, you can only ignore an elephant for so long before it tramples on your cats.
The diagnosis is by no means definite as of right now. We still have to go through the official evaluations. And we will also be having separate evaluations with another group. But. But....
I was not surprised by this. I was upset by it and disappointed. (It would have been really nice to hear that I was imagining the whole thing) But I was not surprised.
And there are so many other things that could be going on with him. SO many other issues that could be harder to deal with and with a much poorer prospect for his future.
But it sure is hard to finally look that elephant in the eyes and name it Norbert.