Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Another Day - Another Struggle

First, thank you so much for the wonderful comments and emails. It really made my day easier!

Now, I must be honest. If I can't be honest here in blogland then where can I be honest? I smoked. I did. Although, I do not consider it a failure by any means. Rather than a normal pack and a half day, yesterday I smoked a half a pack. And each time I broke down, I reaffirmed my determination that I am done. I tried again each time. And I will try again today. I am int his for the long haul. I need to quit. I want to quit. I am quitting.

So keep on sending me warm thoughts of strength as I struggle through each day trying to make each smoke the last.

Seriously, it felt like there was a 178 foot cigarette standing outside my house peeking in the window at me. All day long. And it kept whispering to me. It sucked. I hate you giant cigarette addiction man. I hate you.


mxtodis123 said...

I understand exactly where you are coming from. I can't tell you how many times it took me before I finally stopped...and I had to hit rock bottom to do so. I had a really nasty cold...and lately colds were not going away so quickly...stems from the cigarettes. Well, I missed half a week of work and was still coughing when I returned, but I actually "could not" climb the subway stairs...could not breathe. Cutting down to half is good, but you have to get better. Someone once told me to keep moving the time up of that first cigarette of the day...instead of at 7, have it at 7:30, then at 8 and so on.

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

I did that once too - moved the time up. It helped.

My dad only smoked 7 a day - can you imagine???? He quit when a nurse made him feel bad, the Dr said that only 7 was OK. And 7 was his max - it was more like 4-5.

He still wants one and it has been 5 years :-(

He says before he dies he wants to smoke and eat peanuts and beans!

Connie Carpenter Macko said...

There is a reason they call 'giant cigarette addition guy' a butt-head...

Don't quit quitting!

(I allow myself one every five years or so... shhhhh!)

Nana The Nana said...

Do not stop trying. I remember your father telling me on the way down here from Maine that I could only have a cigarette each time we crossed the state line. I HATED THE CAROLINA'S. They seemed to go on forever. Once when I tried to quit I only smoked on the odd hours of the day. Then alternate odd hours. Nothing really worked until I finally had enough and JUST QUIT THEM. I was scared of dying young and not being around for my grand children. That is what finally did it for me. Best of luck and keep trying. I am sending a box to you today..

Joey said...

Hi there. Try reading Kevin Trudeau's Natural Cures They Don't Want You To Know About ... I think he mentioned something there about his smoking addiction in the past. Got my copy from the library (both book and audio). Try visiting also his site www.naturalcures.com

I quit smoking long long time ago. And yes, it wasn't easy. But eventually, you'll get over it. Just don't try too hard.

Love yah!

jaz@octoberfarm said...

i don't know if this will help at all. i quit smoking long long ago. at the end i would only allow myself to smoke in front of a mirror. it looked absolutely stupid. i imagined myself leaning over a fire and inhaling the smoke. i knew i could never do that but was sort of doing it by smoking. i quit quickly!

Mrsblogalot said...

I still crave one after twenty years of quitting.

I tell myself, tomorrow I'll have one but not today. And of course with my ever faulty memory...I forget about it (-:

Aging is good for something I guess (-:

Bridgett said...

I would say being down an entire pack of cigs is pretty darn good. Just one day at a time, love. One day at a time.


kanishk said...

He still wants one and it has been 5 years :-

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