Silver Plated Bullets....

(OK, so they aren't silver, but you get the idea...)

• Malachai fell down yesterday and busted his lip wide open. Blood everywhere. Now he has a fat lip and looks like a prize fighter. It's almost as attractive as when Braeden got hit in the face and sported a huge black eye for a week and a half. Sometimes I wonder why noone has called DCF on me, what with how the boys always look like they have been beaten...

• There is a huge raccoon that lives by my house. It likes to come up and eat the cat food. I went out to smoke a cigarette the other night and looked over to check on the cats and what do I see? The raccoon was sitting about 2 feet away from me. He looked at me like "Bitch. What you gonna do?" and I was all like "I ain't doin' nothin'. I am just smoking and leaving you alone." And he was all like "That's right, bitch. I am a bad mofo and you better just leave me alone." Then one of the cats came over and wanted to be all big and bad until he actually SAW the coon. The thing was 4 times his size! That would have been a lop sided fight. We just watched him eat all of the food and go away.

• Hubby is finally getting health insurance at the restaurant. COmpletely free, he doesn't have to pay anything for it. He was supposed to go sign papers before work today. So, what happens? You guessed it. He started throwing up last night. Maybe it is the swine flu. Then I could at least have something interesting to write about other than puke, piss and penises.

• I just read "The Forest of Hands and Teeth" by Carrie Ryan yesterday. Seriously good book. I read it right through and couldn'y put it down. And if she does not write a sequal I am going to be forced to hunt her down and pull a Misery on her. Without all the torture and stuff. Maybe I will just bribe her to tell me what happens. Seriously? If you like zombie books, buy this one. If you like stories about people discovering who they are and growing and becoming? Buy this book. It rocks hard core.

• I need to fold about 7 loads of laundry and have no desire to do so. Anyone want to come be my laundry girl? Mom, I know you are reading this. Yes, I have folded laundry since you visited. But, ya know, the kids wear so damn many clothes. What is wrong with them? I mean, really......

• Tonight's dinner is supposed to be veggie stir fry with rice or couscous. But, I am feeling the need for BACON. I think it's all th etalk about swine flu. Makes me think about pigs. ANd thus.... bacon. Maybe I will switch dinner to breakfast for dinner tonight. Or maybe just bacon sandwiches. Ha.

• I find myself highly amused byt he fact that my 2 year old is more interested in potty training than my almost 4 year old. Everyone says "He won't graduate high school in diapers" and I say "You don't know my stubborn ass kid!" I swear.....

• That's it for today. Check out the zombie maker over at the daughter's blog.... fun!

• Ok, fine, thats not all. Read this post by Heather and try not to laugh. I dare you. I think she stole my children......

• Also, I won a Kindle 2 and it got here yesterday. I promptly gave it to the hubby who promptly wen tinto full blown geek mode. He thinks it is spiffy. Actually, so do I. ALthough I can't see myself being able to use it very often now that he has his hands on it!