Rambling

Thanks for the words of inspiration guys! Keep em comin... I will post as I write anything. Today has been a fairly low creativity day. I did LOTS of laundry and dishes and colored with The Boy and lots of other pretty boring stuff for the most part!



Friends of ours just moved back to town yesterday and I went by to visit and make sure they were settling in OK. It was weird to see them again. It has been..... 19 months or so since we saw either one of them. Their kids are HUGE now and they have another little one who is cute as a button. (I snuggled with her for a while. My Baby hated it! Jealous) It was weird for me as I think I had gotten my expectations up. I was excited to have them back as I have missed having someone around who "gets" me. I have met very few people in this area who I could envision myself being real friends with. So... here I am hoping that with A moving back I can have a good buddy again.



Well. I don't know what I expected, the poor girl is trying to unpack, supervise three kids and get set to start her job this week. I guess I just wanted to know that she missed me? Or that she was excited to see me? Who knows. I am just feeling a little let down and I know it is silly. It is not her, just that I tend to build my expectations and want things to be a certain way and when they don't turn out the way I expect... then I feel let down. I have always been that way. You would think I would know better.



Hopefully, when things calm down, I will be able to be friends with this girl again. I hope so... our husbands are in a band together! LOL



I am feeling better physically than I have in a while. My doctor started me on a new medication for the HBP. It seems to be working OK so far. I feel better anyway! Maybe I will try to start working out again. I know I would feel better about myself if I could lose some weight. I hate not feeling comfortable in my own body. And I hate not feeling as sexy as I know I am/ can be. It is hard to look at myself and see what I look like now. In my mind, I still see myself the way I was at 18 - 19. How crazy.... I reread Stranger in a Strange Land last night with the intent to remind myself that all of us are beautiful. I just need to remind myself of that daily, lately.



The Wingmen Of Mayhem have been fairly calm the last few days. Except for at bedtime for the middlest child. He is still giving me fits. Deep breaths.... I love my child...... But, I have instituted "play time with Mommy" every day when The Baby is napping. And we have been coloring and playing and it has been nice. He really seems to dig having a specific time just for us. I think that we will paint a picture tomorrow. I promise to take pics of him covered in paint if we do.



Oh. Also? My "A" key is sticking. So is my "R" key. I blame Hallie. Her post yesterday made me spew soda all over my keyboard. Ewwwwww......



That's it. I got nothin' else. I'm done. For now. Maybe.

Monday's Muse

Back on track, here we are! Today I was standing in my bathroom looking at my body. I am trying to psych myself intot he whole weight loss thing. You know... admit you have a problem and it is the first step to overcoming that problem? So, I was trying to admit I am overweight. Not just admit it but embrace it. Then begin to overcome it... sounds corny. It might help though! LOL ANyway, as I was standing there I got to looking at the numerous stretch marks that cover my ...... belly, hips, etc... and this is what came to mind...


silvery etchings across my skin
ghostly echoes of growth
a badge of honor and pride
and love
a sign of the stretching of heart


I think that if I am starting to actually think this way again, instead of in grunts and dirty lymricks, then maybe I might be getting back in the groove... we'll see.

yeah, yeah, yeah

ok, so no poem this Monday. Cause I discovered that my creative juices? They done dried up. I have to slowly gear up for another attempt at a poem for next Monday. But, thanks to Kara from Grace Under Autism for the new name for our poetry day..... are you ready?

Monday's Muse

I like it. A lot. So there we go.

Akkkkk...... baby crying, toddler laughing. That does not sound good. More later....