Tornado

We are fine! We live in Petal, MS which was hit with a major tornado yesterday. For those who follow me on Facebook you know we are safe but I just wanted to update here real quick.

The damage is severe in Hattiesburg and Petal but our area was spared. About a mile away there is major devastation. So far no fatalities reported, thank God!

Anyone who can donate please do so! The Red Cross and Christian Services are both helping in the area. If you cannot donate money then please send healing thoughts and prayers for strength and recovery.

Contact me for any info on where to send donations if you need to.

Keeping Mal Quiet

I was outside smoking last night and when I cam in I discovered that Malachai's mouth was taped shut. When I asked who did it he told me Braeden did. Braeden said his brother was being too loud. LMAO I guess I have threatened to do it one too many times!

Malachai can seriously not shut his mouth. I don't know HOW his teacher at school deals with him! He even talks in his sleep. He never stops talking, singing, humming or mumbling. He also never stops moving (or rarely) (he walks in his sleep too) and he is ALWAYS hungry!

When he was diagnosed with ADHD NO ONE was surprised!

But he is also incredibly funny.

Thank goodness for funny little boys full of energy to get my day started right! I hear him.... creeping out of his bedroom.... he probably wants to scare me.... LOL

Goals for Knowledge

This a list of things I want to learn. Some of them may never be useful and many of them will be. I am trying to challenge myself to constantly increase my knowledge and skills... having this list just gives me a way to keep that movement going! Some of them are things I already know but want to expand my abilities and knowledge of, some are brand new to me. I plan to tackle one at a time until I know all fo these! It could be a lifetime of learning....

• Herb Gardening
• Vegetable Gardening
• Harvesting and saving seeds
• Drying and preserving herbs
• Growing Mushrooms
• Wild plant recognition/ harvesting
• Composting
• Fruit tree growing/ pruning/ harvesting
• Berry growing, etc
• Growing, harvesting and processing wheat 
• Processing acorns into flour
• Filtering water, making filter/ rain barrel
• Setting up a hand pump for a well
• Canning
• Dehydrating foods
• Dehydrating without electricity
• Refrigeration without a refrigerator
• Breadmaking
• Baking without an oven
• cheese making
• waxing cheese
• butchering and processing meat animals
• Cooking over a fire
• Dutch oven cooking
• Cooking with and caring for cast iron
• Pit cooking/ bean hole cooking
• Meat preservation
• Making traps and snares
• Trapping and snaring animals
• Tanning hides and leather making
• Archery
• Making bows and arrows
• Hunting and tracking
• Shooting/ gun skills
• Knot tying
• Fishing
• Bee keeping
• Fire starting without matches or lighter
• Building a correct fire for cooking and heating
• Wood chopping and seasoning
• Making rope and cord
• Soap making
• Candle making
• Crochet
• Knitting
• Sewing clothing
• Drafting patterns for clothing
• Shoe repair and construction
• solar power skills
• how to build a generator
• how to siphon gas
• compass skills
• how to navigate without a compass
• how to sharpen knives and scissors
• self defense
• Ham radio operation
• small engine repair/ car repair basics
• basic electrical wiring
• Basic carpentry
• doing laundry without electricity
• washing dishes without electricity/ running water
• building an outhouse/ sanitation
• how to barter
• Basic Animal husbandry (cows, chickens, goats, rabbits, pigs, horses)
• Milking goats and cows
• Herbal remedies
• Basic first aid
• CPR

What are some things that you want to learn????

Down With the Sickness

I didn't even know that big kids could get croup, did you? My 5 year old is home sick for the 2nd day with what we suspect is croup. He is coughing hard (sounds like a dog barking) and so hoarse that he sounds like he has been smoking for 50 years! Slight temp and a little bit of congestion. Otherwise he seems fine! He wants to go outside and play and runa round. I am taking him to the doctor tomorrow morning.

We have been extremely lucky overall... my children have had very few illnesses in their lives! In fact, both of my sons have only ever had a single ear infection each. And both of those were when they were 5. No baby ear infection scares, no flu, no crazy sickness that can't be diagnosed.

We have dealt with fifth's disease, colds, basic stomach viruses (very few) and injuries.

I am actually shocked that I have not had to take Malachai (5) to the emergency room yet! He is such a rough and tumble boy that I am just waiting for the first broken bone.

We have had dental surgeries (Braeden), severe burns (Braeden), a gashed face that required stitches (Braeden) and tonsils/ adenoid surgery (Malachai).

So while I am sometimes overwhelmed with all of the craziness of dealing with autism and ADHD and basic kid sickness... it could be so much worse.

A good friend of mine is taking her 16 year old daughter to the hospital today to try to get brain surgery scheduled. For the second time. She has a brain tumor (non cancerous but dangerous as hell) that has grown back. Two years ago she had surgery but they did not do the radiation they should have and now it has grown back. I can't even imagine the fear my friend is struggling with! So now she has to have brain surgery... again. And then 6 weeks of radiation (I think).

But you know what this bad ass teen did? She shaved her head already. So that she is bald because of her own actions rather than because of the radiation and surgery. And so that she will get used to it and not be upset. She is a total BAMF and so is her Mom. Not only are they dealing with this but she also has a son Braeden's age who is autistic. And her husband is in the Army. BAMF.

SO while I worry about my son (of course) and I get frustrated with the little kid sicknesses that knock our schedules for a loop.... I also embrace them. because it could be so much worse. I could have so many larger worries. I could be facing the possibility of cancer, death, disability... so many other things.

I am hugging my kids extra hard tonight and giving a couple extra kisses. ANd I will be TRYING not to complain about the little things quite as much.

HUGS to Tara and Shonna and all of their family as they saddle up for another round of surgeries. You got this!

My Little Bronys

My sons love My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.  They play with toy ponies, watch the show and love to make up pretend stories all about the ponies. I find it highly amusing. There is a whole subset of fans out there called "bronys" that are teen and young adult MEN who love the show. Yeah. A little weird but ok.... so my boys are bronys. :)

Some parents hate television and only let their kids watch a tiny little bit every day, if any. I am not one of those Moms. See, Braeden is autistic. One of the things that I noticed early on for him was that he did not play in a normal fashion and he did not directly respond to requests (verbally) unless I repeated the question again and again.

Television helped him. He finally started responding better. Why? Because of Dora the Explorer and Blue's Clues. When they asked questions he learned to respond. And because he could watch the episodes over and over he got practice. Simple questions, simple answers.

He also learned how to "pretend play" by watching things like Elmo, The Backyardigans and Yo Gabba Gabba. He started to interact more with the shows and as a result he started to interact more with us.

Braeden was never what they term "severe".  He was never 100% non verbal. But he was extremely challenged in the early days.

I credit TV and ABA therapy with many of the steps forward he has taken.

If he wants to watch MLP or Strawberry Shortcake, The Transformers or Dino Dan, the dreaded Max and Ruby or even the hated Fresh Beat Band then I am fine with that.

And actually, MLP:FIM Is a decent show! If you haven't watched any episodes with your kids then I suggest you check it out.

Growing Salad

Two more great tips I got from Pinterest.... how to regrow romaine lettuce and celery from the stumps! Here I have two celery stalk ends and a romaine end that have been in water for about 3 or 4 days. I plan to put each in a separate dish soon. And the next ones I have I will try putting in soil and see which does better!

Not a huge savings int he short term but in the long run it will add up! Especially since I am eating salads and celery almost every day lately.

Cooking Sucks

Some days I love cooking and baking. Other days it is a chore I dread. It all depends on my energy level and how busy I have been that day I guess. I have been trying to think of different recipes to have on tap for those nights when I really don't want to cook. Instead of heading to McDonalds or ordering pizza... since $$ continues to be tight and healthier food is more important than pure convenience.

I mined my Facebook friends for some ideas and searched Pinterest and some recipe sites. And went back to my Mom's recipe book too.

Another thing about cooking..... pretty soon I will be having to adjust how much I am cooking at each meal. When Jenna and Nate move out I will only be cooking for me and Steven. The boys do not eat the same things we do. So adjusting the volume of my cooking is going to be weird for me! I am so used to cooking huge amounts of each dish!

I am hoping to get together a list of tried and true easy and quick recipes for myself. Because I have really started to dread cooking. And meal planning is killing me because I plan for meals that I then have no desire to cook!!!!!! I might start posting recipes and meal plans again to help with this goal.

What are your favorite go to recipes for times like that? I am wondering if I just need to start doing more freezer cooking. But so many of the freezer cooking recipes turn out weird for me that I hate to try them and not know if they will be something we will like.

I think I am both a lazy cook and a food snob at once. It makes for interesting meal choices!

Moving Phobia

We will (hopefully) be moving back to Florida in June. I am happy about this! Excited and almost ecstatic actually. Not about the moving part. Just about the Florida part.

The thought of the actual MOCE is filling me with stress, tension and fear.

What you have to understand is that we moved 4 times in the space of one year. And each time it was stressful and anxiety ridden. So I have horrible memories of moving. And an inter state move is even worse! It all has to be done at once. You can't forget something and run back and get it.

This week I ave spent time trying to figure out the moving costs so that we can set the $$ aside and not spend it. And checking on the cost of a moving van. And looking at the costs of getting utilities turned on. And thinking about packing. And new schools. And new responsibilities as a home owner (sort of).

My stomach is in knots and I have a stress headache.

It will all work out fine in the end but until then I have a feeling I will be obsessing over every little detail.

I need strength and fortitude to get through until after the move. I need wine too.

Spring is Coming

Walking through the browned and wilted grass of the winter field
staring at the steely sky
watching gray edged clouds skitter behind
the skeletal tree limbs
reaching their fingers towards the filtered sun

Feeling the pale sunlight barely warming my skin
and the light brush of a breeze
across the hairs upon my head

Trying to absorb some springtime
between the winter rays

Fluffy green pine branches
yellow tinged leaves
cushions of crisp and crunchy beneath my feet

A insistent tweeting from the branches overhead
a quiet humming from a bee
as it cruises through my winter dead garden
and the slush and hush of wet traffic whispers through the air

Breathe deep
smell the smoky, distant smell
of winter's retreat

Glimpse the greening

See the swelling

Feel the trembling

of the earth about to burst

into springtime

Mom-In-Law

So, Jenna and Nate are getting married at the end of April. That means I will be a Mother in law! I wonder what crazy things I can do to make them groan when I tell them I am coming to visit?!? Of course, they have to MOVE OUT before I can come visit them. LOL

It is a little weird to think about my baby girl getting married. Some days it seems like just yesterday that she was born. And of course I worry about them getting married so young. But it is their lives and their decision! And they are really good for each other. Nate is a good young man with a good work ethic who treats Jenna well. They really love each other. SO I guess getting married is a natural progression for them. And when we move they will be staying here so I guess them being married is a good thing.

Planning the wedding has been fun so far although a little stressful for Ms. Jenna I think! And there are tons of things to be done before April... which is creeping up on us pretty fast!

I told them I am not allowed to be a Grandma until I am at least 40 by the way. Otherwise it will just feel wrong.... :)

Any of my readers have grown children who have gotten married? Is it weird having a son or daughter in law? I mean, Nate has lived with us for close to a year now so I feel like I know him pretty well. But I wonder if it is feels different once they are actually married? He already irritates me ALMOST as much as Jenna does. heeheehee

Aren't they cute?????

Anyway. If anyone is actually reading these posts, what do you want me to write about? ANything you want to know, see, hear? Any updates you want? Any info you want me to share? I am trying to write every day and get back int he habit so ideas for posts are important! ;)

Tackling Parenthood (Special Needs Edition)

Last night we went to a "Tackling Parenthood" seminar at the local high school. There was $1 dinners for everyone (BBQ or Pizza), some information booths, door prizes and two sessions of informative "classes".  The sessions included things like Coaching Children to Manage Emotions, Cyberbullying and Homework Help for Elementary Aged Students. The two sessions that we attended were Developing Attention Skills in Young Children and Autism Spectrum and ADHD Education and Behavior Strategies.

We ate and the boys went to the gym for some play time. I loved that because we missed Braeden's Social Skills therapy to attend the seminar so him having some social interaction with NT kids was great.

The first session we went to was about attention skills. Now, Malachai has been diagnosed with ADHD which was no surprise to anyone who knows him. He is struggling in class and at home to stay on task, be focused and actually SIT STILL. We have decided not to medicate him at this time. We know it may be inevitable in the future but with him being so young we have decided to wait with the blessings of his teacher and his psychiatrist. We want him to learn coping skills and strategies so that he is not dependent upon medication for the rest of his life with no alternatives. So, any information we can get, or ideas, is sooooo welcome! The speaker gave us a handout with some great ideas on it and he gave us some great information.

The second session was not as informative for us. Not because the speaker was bad but just because we already pretty much knew what he was telling us. Plus, it was a tiny group of people and we spent most of the time discussing what challenges our children face. It is always interesting to talk to other autism parents!

We are really glad we went to the seminar. It almost makes me wish we would still be here when they do it again next year! There were several other sessions I would have loved to attend. I worry that when we move I won't be able to find the resources and help we need for the boys.

I am just keeping my fingers crossed that the new school they will be at next year will have what we need. That the boys will do well. That I can find doctors, therapists and a support network that will be what we need. It is a big step, taking our family out of this comfort zone we have here, away from teachers, schools and administrators who are used to working with us, away from doctors and therapists who have worked with both boys for years, away from the schedules and routines that Braeden has become so accustomed to.

I will have to start over from scratch and that is a scary prospect!

The director of the local Special Services Department for the schools has offered to work directly with the new school district to make sure that the transition is smooth. And I am making a list of steps to take to find the services and support we need. But boy am I nervous!!!

Parenthood is hard. Being a Special Needs parent is even harder. Every child has their own challenges and issues but they are just multiplied when there are special needs attached. When we moved to Mississippi my only real worries for Jenna were if she would be challenged at school and make friends. Now I have so many other concerns for my boys that it just stresses me out. Being Mama Bear is tough sometimes!!

But it sure is worth it!!!!

Sleepless Nights and Pinterest Porn

Yesterday I made breakfast via Pinterest. I used this pin to make hash browns! Here it is in pictures... 

 I think they turned out pretty alright! Crispy and NOT greasy! I will definitely be doing this again. Next time I might add shaved onion as well. Yum.

I didn't sleep well last night and nothing worked to help.  I tried turning everything off and lying down. I tried reading. I tried watching TV. I tried chamomile tea. I tried Tums to help my acid reflux. I just could not turn off my brain and settle. I am running on about 3 1/2 hours of sleep right now. I need to work out and then I have a seminar to go to tonight. I have a feeling I will be sleeping EXTREMELY well tonight!

I think it is interesting how our bodies react to exercise and nutrition. I used to drink 6 - 8 sodas a day. Full of sugar and caffeine. And did no formal exercise whatsoever. I would have sleepless nights at least once or twice a week. Since I cut out the soda and limited myself to coffee and green tea before noon ONLY and have been working out every day I am sleeping like a log. I am usually asleep within 15 minutes of getting into bed. And rarely wake up during the night unless I have to pee. 

Yesterday I skipped my workout. Figured I needed a break, right? I guess my body was not worn out enough to tune out the chaos in my brain!!! So today, even though I am exhausted, I am going to go in and turn on the Wii Fit and do my workout. One hour of cardio and strength training and yoga. If I feel up to it I will do more. But that is the bare minimum that I need to do for my body and lifestyle right now. 

I need to listen to my body more often and tell my brain to take a hike!

Pinterest Addict

Yep. I am addicted to Pinterest! If you use it then feel free to check out my boards here. If you would like or need an invitation then just drop me a comment and I will send you one.  Since I spend so much time on Pinterest I have actually started using some of the things I have pinned! My SIL started a blog JUST to talk about things she has done from Pinterest. I am not going to do that. But, I WILL be sharing some things that I have discovered are huge time savers or great tips.

I also taught myself to crochet via links on Pinterest! I am slowly working my way through all of the crappy yarn that was floating around in my house by making things like ice cream sweaters and coasters. Once I am feeling like I know what I am doing pretty well I have a ton of great pins to help me make some great items like afghans, scarves, skirts and hats. Can't wait!

I am also working out every day and trying to get healthy. SO far I have done really well and have worked out every day since January 2nd. I will NOT be sharing a ton of stuff about my weight loss and healthy living journey unless it is requested. I have a private group on Facebook where I post a lot of stuff and a bunch of boards on Pinterest (of course) with great tips and links to exercises.

So I really AM busy! Busy with crafts, busy with working out, busy with every day life, busy planning an interstate move in a few months..... and busy with Pinterest!!

More later! I tried a GREAT tip this morning that I may just share with you. With pictures. Yummy.

Busy

Things have been rough and busy and crazy and just all around overwhelming for months. Obviously. Since I can't seem to post any updates here on my actual blog. Facebook is just so much easier. But you can only do so much on there.....

I am going to be trying to update here more regularly. No promises.....

One of THOSE Weeks

It's been one of those weeks so far. Nothing is going according to plan. I am down with a cold, the kids are too, and now Steven feels cruddy. I am tired and cranky and just want to curl up in a ball and whine.

With the best of intentions.... this blog is not a priority for me right now. *sigh*

I have so much to do to get myself to where I want to be. And that first step is a doozy...

Stay tuned.....

Stuff and Things

Steven started a new job at the local University about a month ago. He really is not happy there. And then he got a job offer from a restaurant making the same $$ with more hours. So I think he will be changing jobs again soon. *sigh* Stress makes my world go 'round.

Jenna and Nate (J's BF) seem to be getting along well and Nate has interviews scheduled for this week. He will, hopefully, have a job soon. And then they can start looking for their own place sometime after Christmas probably. It will be weird having Jenna not in the house... but good to see her starting her life as a grown up! She is a sophomore this year and school seems to be going well too. But you know how it is once the kids start growing up... parents don't always know what is going on with them any more! Just keeping my fingers crossed.

Both boys are happy in school and glad to be there. They like the routine. And I like the break. I was ready for one.

I am still grieving for Mom. And the anniversary of Dad's death is this month. So I am struggling a bit. Days go by with me not even thinking about it. And then something happens and I get smacked upside the head again. My birthday was the 28th of August and it was.... difficult. I will be very happy when this year is over and done with. Maybe 2013 will be a better, easier year for me.

I am looking forward to moving back to Florida next Summer. I have been wanting to move back for years. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I need to be connected again.

The next ten months or so will consist of me trying to purge and consolidate all of the crap in our house. Moving is never any fun, but moving across states is majorly no fun. I need this move to go smoothly. So, I am in the process right now of trying to catalogue all of our thousands of movies. Then we will put them in soft sided CD cases, the ones that hold about 500, ya' know? And get rid of the individual hard cases. Much easier, and less cumbersome, to move. After that it is time to hit the library. Go through the books, separate Jenna's and Nate's out. Get rid of texts and computer reference books that are too old to be worthwhile. Get rid of books that I will never read again. And then try to catalogue the books.  So. Much. Fun.

Anyone want to come help????

I am addicted to Pinterest and if anyone needs an invite let me know. I am planning to start doing crafts/ sewing again soon and will attempt to show off my work when completed. Pinterest has inspired me!

I have more to share... plans for losing weight, plans for diet and health changes, plans for the kids.... but i am going to try to get back to blogging regularly. So you can come back again tomorrow to read more. LOL

And still....

I Grieve
Peter Gabriel

It was only one hour ago 
It was all so different then 
There's nothing yet has really sunk in 
Looks like it always did 
This flesh and bone 
It's just the way that you would tied in 
Now there's no-one home 

I grieve for you 
You leave me 
'so hard to move on 
Still loving what's gone 
They say life carries on 
Carries on and on and on and on 

The news that truly shocks is the empty empty page 
While the final rattle rocks it's empty empty cage 
And i can't handle this 

I grieve for you 
You leave me 
Let it out and move on 
Missing what's gone 
They say life carries on 
They say life carries on and on and on 

Life carries on 
In the people i meet 
In everyone that's out on the street 
In all the dogs and cats 
In the flies and rats 
In the rot and the rust 
In the ashes and the dust 
Life carries on and on and on and on 
Life carries on and on and on 

It's just the car that we ride in 
A home we reside in 
The face that we hide in 
The way we are tied in 
And life carries on and on and on and on 
Life carries on and on and on 

Did I dream this belief? 
Or did i believe this dream? 
Now i can find relief 
I grieve

Life in Flux

Steven quit his job. Braeden is being tested for the gifted program. Malachai is being tested by the school district for placement next year when he starts kindergarten due to his ADHD. Jenna's boyfriend will be home from the Army in less than 2 weeks and then they will be working towards moving into an apartment together.

I am just trying to stay level and calm through all of the changes and the roller coaster ride of my emotions.

I am still grieving every day.

It's times like these that I really want my Mother. To talk to. To vent to. To tell me that everything will be alright.

It isn't really getting easier. I think I am just getting numb. Like when you hit the same spot over and over it eventually stops hurting so much. You scar. Is that what people mean when they say it gets easier? They also say time heals all wounds. But I can't picture this one healing.

Life goes on. That one I agree with. And I go on with it. Every day I act like everything is fine. I laugh at jokes, I listen to other people's problems, I take care of my children and try to take care of my man. I clean my house (sometimes).

And every day I try not to cry. I try not to holler and scream and throw things. Every day I wonder why I had to lose my Mom and I wish like hell I still had her here. Every day I remember something else that I wish I had said to her, that I wish I had done with her, that I wish I had done FOR her.

I am still grieving. And I try to just get through each day.

Light It Up Blue

You may notice that the blog is blue. It will be so from now until the end of April. We are lighting it up blue to raise autism awareness! Below is a letter that I will be mailing to the President and First Lady this week.  I wanted to share this here in the hopes that some of you, my faithful readers and dear friends, will also Light It Up Blue for Autism Awareness on April 2nd. Feel free to leave your lights blue for the entire month of April. Braeden loved the blue light so much last year that we never took it down at our house. He knows the light is there for him! Also, please feel free to wear blue on April 2nd. Share with everyone why you are doing so if they ask. Feel free to share a picture of your front porch with blue light on your blogs or on Facebook. And then direct anyone who asks about it to the Light It Up Blue website for more information. Or direct them here to ask questions. I am always willing to answer legitimate questions about autism and the spectrum. And about what it is like raising an autistic son. 

March 11, 2012

Barack and Michelle Obama

President and First Lady of the United States of America

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mr and Mrs Obama,

I am addressing this letter to you directly rather than by title for a reason. Speaking to the President and First Lady there are numerous issues I could choose to discuss. I am a woman, so women’s rights and reproductive freedom are on my mind quite a bit lately. I am a bisexual so LGBT rights also mean a lot to me.  And of course there is always the economy.  But your time is precious and I am hoping my letter will not get shuffled in among the many others I am sure you receive daily. 

I am addressing this letter to you personally because I want to speak with you as one parent to another. You have two beautiful, intelligent and incredibly poised daughters. I am sure you are very proud of them and would do just about anything to make sure they grow up healthy and safe. As a Mother, I would also go to the line for my children. 

I have three beautiful children. I am writing to you today regarding one of them in particular.  His name is Braeden and that is his picture at the top of the letter. Braeden was diagnosed with autism in April of 2010 at the age of 4 1/2. This was no great surprise to us, it just took several years to get a doctor to listen to us and actually do an evaluation. While Braeden is on the high functioning end of the spectrum, he does have challenges every day. Therapy and intensive work have paid off in numerous ways. We are blessed to have this wonderful child. He makes every day special. 

I know you must be aware of the growing number of children being diagnosed with an ASD. 1 in 110 children is diagnosed as falling somewhere on the spectrum. Boys are four times as likely to be diagnosed.  As parents, this should scare you. It scares me. It scares me when I think of the fact that in a little more than 11 years my son will be an adult. He will be wanting to spread his wings and fly.  And the world is not ready for our children.  The world, and America, are not knowledgable about what autism is, how it affects those who are diagnosed and how they should be treated. The cruelty and ignorance that my child has faced and will face make me furious. 

April 2nd, as you know, is World Autism Awareness Day.  And the entire month of April is Autism Awareness Month.  This will be the third annual Light It Up Blue for Autism day this year.  We, as parents, hope that by changing our porch lights to a blue light we can help to bring awareness to our communities. We hope that someone will stop and ask us why the light is blue so that we can talk to them.  Initiating conversations, opening a dialogue, raising awareness and showing the world how dedicated we are to helping our children are all goals of this day. 

This year more than 350 public buildings have already committed to lighting up blue. These building and landmarks include Rockefeller Center, Top of the Rock Observation Deck and Madison Square Garden in New York City, Hôtel de Ville in Paris, France, the famous Tokyo Tower in Japan and Canada’s CN Tower, the Sydney Opera House in Australia and Michigan’s Mackinac Bridge. Parents across the globe are speaking with their local government officials, business owners, family and friends to request that they also Light it up Blue. In 2011 there were more than 2000 buildings and landmarks turned blue for AT LEAST the day. 

I am asking you, from one parent to another, what wouldn’t you do for your children? What if one of your girls was autistic? Think long and hard about the challenges faced by the parents of children with an ASD. Think about the adults and teenagers with an ASD who are watching the world to see who supports them. The special needs community is huge and growing every day. We are watching the world to see what changes can be made and who is willing to institute them. http://www.lightitupblue.org/Markslist/home.do has more information on the Light It Up Blue initiative.

I am asking you, as a parent, to consider lighting up your house blue on April 2, 2012. Light up the White House and make it blue for just one day. Light up the Washington Memorial, light up the numerous memorials, public buildings and facilities. Please show our children and our community that you care about us. Show the world that this community is not forgotten and is not second class.

I wish you both the best of luck and a happy healthy election year.

Sincerely yours,

Tracy DeLuca

faeriecastle@yahoo.com

Heartbroken

Any of my readers who are also friends with me on Facecrack already know that my Mother passed away. She was always after me to write in this blog more often. So, in memory of her and to help me work through my grief and get my life back on track  here it goes....

Sandra Lee Basel White

February 14, 1945 - December 29, 2011

A friend of my Mom's read the following at her Memorial Mass: 

Good morning. I am Patti T***r and I have had the privilege of working with Sandy the past 27 years. But I am not here just as a co-worker, because Sandy was so much more than that to me. When her family asked me to speak today, I started thinking of what Sandy would want to me tell you. 

The word FAMILY kept coming into my head. I think the most important thing to Sandy was FAMILY
•not just her natural family – her mother, sisters, children, and grandchildren
•but also her spiritual family here at this church which she loved
•her family at Curves who helped her stay physically active
•and her family at Waldo Community School of coworkers, students, parents, and grandparents.

Many of you know me and know that I come from a very small family, of which I am the only one left. Sandy and I had known each other for 11 years when my mother died, and I became a family of 1. Sandy never tried to “be my mom” at that time, but she definitely adopted me into her family. 
•She would invite me to family gatherings at times she knew it would be difficult for me to be alone. 
•She would let me moan, groan, and complain - and later forget I ever said anything.

•She would irritate me, I think sometimes on purpose - just so we could laugh about it later.
•She was always patient with me when I needed some distance, and she was loving when I needed a slap up side the head.
•She would remember my birthday and ALWAYS sing “Happy Birthday” to me.
•She would celebrate my successes and mourn my losses as if I was her daughter.

And that’s what family does
•they make you feel wanted,
•they comfort you,
•they make you laugh, 
•they make you cry, 
•they frustrate you, 
•they correct you, 
•they are patient with you, 
•they embrace you, 
•they just love you. 

Sandy was family – She truly comforted, corrected, embraced, and loved everyone in her many families. 

Some of my students drew pictures and wrote letters which I gave to the family on Wednesday. One young man was absent Wednesday, so he gave me his card late. He drew a picture of a heart with a circle in the middle.  When I first looked at it, I saw a hole – a place in all of our hearts where we miss Sandy. 

This morning when I looked at it, I saw it completely differently. I see it as a little piece of Sandy living our hearts. I believe Sandy will always be with us. And I think Sandy would want everyone to remember to look for those people we can embrace into our families as she did. And then love them as Sandy loved us.

What Patti wrote really speaks volumes about the type of woman my Mother was. She loved everyone. You can read a little but about her life HERE where I wrote about her before.


I am devestated. I feel as if a part of me is missing and it hurts tremendously. Every day I struggle to go through the motions, to get back to where I need to be with my life and my home. And every day I feel as if I am failing.


And then I remind myself that it has only been a month since I lost one of the most important and possibly the most influential person in my life. The pain will continue for a long time. I have to learn to embrace it and then move onward and upward each day. And eventually it will get easier. It's hard to believe that right now.


I tried to find a song to post that was one of her favorites. It sucked. I cried. I tried to find a song to describe how I am feeling. It sucked. I cried. I tried to write something that actually had some depth and used correct punctuation and grammar and expressed how I am feeling. It sucked. I cried.


And that's how life is going for me right now.