Monday, June 30, 2008
So... who wants to give me "a word"? LOL I need inspiration. I am feeling the urge to write but need some inspiration... a muse if you will. Something to jump start the creative juices. A picture, a phrase, a word, an idea. Something. All suggestions welcome. I need to stretch my creative "muscles" and see what I can do!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
I had a long conversation with my husband last night. Yes! He spoke! I know, it is amazing. But, it was great. He shared his thoughts and feelings on the work situation with me and we discussed what to do now. Some decisions are made and some are in progress. We both agree that this cannot go on. I am just happy he is actually talking to me about it. I hate it when he gets all quiet and won't discuss things with me. I know it is part of who he is.... but still.
I am feeling a whole bunchy bunch better than I have for most of the past week. Even though I am tired and my boys are driving me crazy. I am connected to my husband once more and that makes me feel less alone and more alive. (Sex doesn't hurt, either. I'm just sayin'.)
I had a whole post planned where I bitched about pharmacies and stupidity. And I have decided to forgo that post for today. I think I have complained enough for this week. I need to chill out.
I think I need to cook a damn good meal tonight, have a couple of drinks, take a long hot bubble bath and molest my husband. I'm sure he won't complain too much.
Hey! Anyone who is actually reading this.... I would love some suggestions on new books to read. I read many of the suggestions people have given me in the past. But I am now out of books. I am rereading one of my faves right now. But, I want something thought provoking and fabulous that will make me want to read it again and again. Claudia, I did read Necklace of Kisses and your other suggestions. Now, they have been loaned out to my MIL! So, I need new books!
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Lets look at the facts, shall we?
Braeden (The Boy) is 34 1/2 months old. He will be three in early August. When he was born, he had reflux. He nursed for 12 weeks and was not toooooo bad. He went on formula and then a different one and then a different one. We finally found one that seemed to help with the worst of it. We still spent his first six months dealing with constant spit up and no sleep. He screamed. All the time. It was bad.
Then he got a little better. He only screamed part of the time. And he hated going to sleep. The boy has only slept through the night maybe ten times in the past three years. Really. He will NOT go to bed without a fight. I am talking about kicking, hitting, biting, screaming, head butting, body thrashing fights. And hours of putting him back in bed every five minutes until he finally breaks down and falls asleep. Usually in the hallway.
And then there are the night terrors. And the sleep walking.
And a total refusal to nap at all.
So, is it any wonder the boy has behavior issues? He has never, not once in three years, gotten a good night's sleep. He has so-so sleeps. He has good mornings where he is pleasant and easy to be around and cooperative and only misbehaves in normal 3 yo ways. And then... by lunchtime... he melts down. He kicked me in the face the other night and I lost it. I started crying on the phone with my MIL and telling her that if he is not crazy by this point in the sleep deprivation cycle that I probably am!
Today, we went to Walmart. Which is a whole other blog post. But, the part of this that pertains to THIS post is that... my children are embarrassing. Really. Both boys spent the entire trip whining and crying and trying to climb out of the buggy. And then I noticed that they both had dirt on their faces. So, now I look like some kind of redneck, dirty kid, cannot control their kids mom. And they probably have 12 toes too.
I know that all kids give you hassles. God knows that I had to drag The Girl out of stores more than once when she was 3 - 4 yo. But.... maybe it is just that I lack the patience to deal with this. I would almost rather become a hermit than deal with this level of.... misbehavior... in public. For lack of a better word.
And he does.not.listen.to.me. At all. I feel like the three male people who live in my house cannot seem to hear the tone of my voice. I speak. I know I am speaking. I can hear myself. But, no response. I could be speaking klingon and dancing naked for all of the attention they pay to me.
I try. Goddess knows I try. I try to teach them to pick up their toys. And not eat each others bodily excretions. And maybe not grind chocolate into the carpet. And I try to teach them not to hurt each other. And to share. And to please please please not bite mommy. And I try to get them to understand that cooperation is best. Yeah right.
Toddlers. They are going to hell.
Wait. I am in hell now, aren't I?
My Girl has grown up so much over the past few years. It is amazing to see! One day you have a little kid... the next day she is a young woman. Kinda scary for me, as a mom, to remember back to the things I was up to at her age. But I think my girl has a better head on her shoulders in some respects than I did. She may not have a lot of common sense.... but she loves herself. And that makes a difference.
Can't wait until you get home, kiddo! (I need someone to put the dishes away.... LOL... JK.... Maybe)
Friday, June 27, 2008
pressing down upon my self
Embraced by solitude
Self-hatred and melancholy
suffuse the tears
like rain upon dry earth
soaking into daily life
drowning hope and soaking ambition
Thursday, June 26, 2008
1 lb ground beef
2 large cans baked beans (any flavor, I use the brown sugar ones)
chopped green pepper
salt and pepper
Brown the ground beef with the onion, garlic and pepper and drain well. Put back in the pan and season with Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper to taste. Add cans of beans, mix well and heat through. I usually serve this with corn bread or butter dips. Some kind of bread to soak up the juice!
This is an easy, filling meal. You can adjust the flavors by using different things. If you add some mustard or BBQ sauce instead of Worcestershire you will get a more tangy flavor. The new BBQ beans they have out are good in this. I tried it with the bourbon beans... very good. Use less ground beef if you are looking for more of a side dish and not a meal.
Not very fancy but very very yummy. And very very easy!
He is growing fine and his development is right where it should be. No problems.
But, since I was there, I decided to talk to doc about The Boys sleep issues and his aggression/ violence. The Boy has an appointment in mid-July in Jackson at the Child Development Clinic for some testing. The doctor wants me to discuss his sleep issues and possible supplements or medications with them at that appointment as he is not comfortable/ does not have as much experience with these issues. So. More waiting. As far as the violence.... he has referred us to a Family Counselor. The Boys first appointment is July 15. They are supposed to, basically, discuss with us different options for discipline and how to help The Boy channel his aggression and anger, etc. blah blah... I have no idea. Wait and see.....
So. Two major appointments coming up in July. Both having to do with psychological issues. sigh..... more stress and worry for me. I hate having my boy have issues and problems. And then, too, I worry that I am overreacting. Maybe this is just normal two - three year old behavior and I am just not used to it anymore. I don't think so. But it could be. Anyway.... I will keep all updated as I find anything out.
Update on the pay issue..... Steven says that his boss says that he did not work so he is not getting paid.
Yes. I am angry. Steven said he just had to leave before he did something he might regret. We had a talk. Ha. I talked. I told Steven that if he is not going to quit then he needed to request that he be put back on hourly wages. He has been basically giving this man $150 a week for the past year. Because of all of the extra hours he has worked. And if the man is going to screw him then he needs to go back to hourly. He will either work 40 hours and have a fixed schedule (opening up the possibility of a 2nd job or of me working on off days) OR he will get overtime and be better off money wise.
All I know is that he had better keep me away from his boss. I do NOT need to see him right now.
On top of the loss of $350 of pay, we also found out that our Water bill for this past month is about triple what it normally is. Because we had a toilet that was running constantly. We told the landlord about this on May 29th. He did not fix it until June 17th. They read our meter on the 20th (I think). So, the damn thing was running for, basically, 20 days after we told him about it. I am going to have to talk to him. I cannot afford to be paying a $200 water bill. AND, our stupid electric bill is crazy right now with the heat and having to run the AC.
Sorry. Stressing out.
I HATE being this stressed about money and bills. It affects my ability to enjoy my children. And it affects my ability to enjoy just about anything!
Send positive thoughts my way. I need them!
Thanks to everyone for your comments on yesterdays post. Like I said, I do love myself. And I made my list. What was disconcerting about the process was just how damn quickly the negative came to mind and how I had to really think hard to find the positive. That is not healthy! Time to concentrate on loving myself instead of trying to change myself constantly!
So, here they are. I have 21 and stopped there for now. I will post details of the boys' doctor visit later.
1. I am a good mother. I love my children and take great care of them. They love me.
2. I am a good wife and partner for my husband. We have a strong relationship based on trust and balance.
3. I am a strong advocate for my children's health – physical, mental and emotional.
4. I am creative. I write poetry with my soul, I create physical crafts that are beautiful and useful.
5. I am intelligent.
6. I am a strong person and able to handle anything that life throws at me. I may bend, but I never break.
7. I am compassionate, sympathetic and empathetic.
8. I have cute toes.
9. I have pretty eyes.
10. I have a sense of humor that is slightly off center. I love to laugh.
11. I see the good in people even while I acknowledge the bad.
12. I see beauty in everyone.
13. I am capable of loving anyone, male or female, with appreciation for what makes them special and unique.
14. I am sensual and sexual in nature.
15. I am adventurous and enjoy trying new things.
16. I can see different viewpoints and understand them without necessarily agreeing with them.
17. I am a hard worker at anything I do.
18. I am passionate.
19. I am forgiving while never forgetting.
20. I am a good friend. I treat my friends with respect and love. I am there whenever I am needed and try my damnedest to do anything I can to make my friends' lives better. I always try to go the extra mile.
21. I hug without inhibition. As needed for comfort, joy and love.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
I think that lots of women do this to themselves. This self-hatred. I can come up with TONS of things about myself that I need to change or work on in one way or another. But to think of things I love.... I had to really think about it. Why do we do this to ourselves? This constant focus on what is wrong with ourselves and what needs to be "fixed"? Why can't we just accept ourselves for who we are and love ourselves regardless?
I will post my "love" list when I can get it together. When I can sit down and REALLY look into the mirror of my soul and find out what makes me hum.
Right now... I need to go play with my sons.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
If you haven't read her "ode to camp" yet over at her blog then you should. She is so.... funny in one way but also so damn deep. What a kid. I sure do miss her! I will post more pictures from camp as I get them. They have a website where you can access pictures daily and send emails to your camper, etc. Very cool.
Speaking of camp.... I have a desire to go camping in the woods. Take a tent and a sleeping bag and head on out. Sleep under the stars and make love in the midst of fireflies and nightime noises. Sounds pretty damn good to me.
Don't get any ideas kiddo.... I've heard about band camp and bible camp! LOL LOL LOL
The need for organization in my home is really a major thing right now. I am so tired of never knowing where something is or having boxes of crap everywhere.... I really have hit this point in my life where I cannot handle it anymore. So, for the past two days I have finished tackling the boys' room. I have organized toys and moved the train table and done all kinds of crap and it is mostly done. At least I have one room organized!
Next, I am tackling the office. Wish me luck.
How long can you keep things packed in boxes after a move before it becomes ridiculous? And how long can you keep something packed away before it becomes obvious that you do not need it? And maybe you should just get rid of it? I wish I could convince my husband that the limit on this is six months. Then I could just get rid of all of the crap that he has in boxes and has not done anything with. He has some boxes that he has not unpacked since we met. Really. Ditto for the daughter. Boxes of stuff still packed from 2 - 3 years ago. What in the world are you people going to do with this crap?
I have gone through my stuff and the boys' stuff and gotten rid of anything that we do not need or use/ play with on a regular basis. And the memorabilia that really means something.... Now, to get a home for everything. And to make my husband find homes for his crap....
Can someone send me some energy?
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Finally getting back into the swing of things. It's amazing how a vacation can cause you to loose track of everything! Here is my menu for this week:
Monday - Chicken Casserole
Tuesday - Pork Chops, Scalloped Potatoes, Peas
Wednesday - leftovers
Thursday - Cold Pasta Salad, hot dogs
Friday - Hamburger Gravy and Rice
Saturday - Leftovers
Sunday - Grilled Chicken, Wild Rice, Broccoli
That's it as of right now. I have all of this in my house and don't need to buy anything except for hot dog buns. Sounds great to me!
I could use some suggestions for cool summer meals.... help please?
Check out the other great menus over at Organizing Junkie as part of her Menu Planning Monday!
Wash, peel and otherwise prepare your vegetables. Then, finely dice all of them. I used the entire cucumber, seeded, half of the onion, three stalks of celery, about 1/3 bag of baby carrots and the entire mango.
Add your seasonings to this. I usually use balsamic vinegar but was out. So, today I added Tarragon Vinegar, a little olive oil, salt, black pepper, a little minced garlic, a little sugar and some ginger. Mix this in and make sure that all of the vegetables and fruits are well coated and mixed together. You want to get a bite of all of the different things at once.
Put this in the refrigerator and let it sit. The longer it sits, the more natural juices will mix with the seasoning and really wow your mouth. I usually give it at least an hour. Remix before serving. Here is tonight's dinner! Steak and grilled potatoes along with the veggie salsa.
I consider this a fairly frugal meal. The salsa will last us two meals for two adults and one child (one of the kids won't eat it and the other is in Florida!). The potatoes... I actually only grilled two medium potatoes, sliced thickly and seasoned with salt, pepper, oil, garlic powder and thyme. It is enough for one meal. The steak was on sale as buy one get one free. So, while steak is not too cheap.... this was not too bad as a special treat! Also, the steak will serve me twice. I will eat leftovers for lunch tomorrow!
So, there you go. I love to serve this salsa with grilled chicken as well. Very yummy. Adding a little lime juice is nice as well. What I really like about it is it is very flexible and very cool.
What are some cool meals that you serve in the hot summer months?
Friday, June 20, 2008
I did score some sweet deals on meat at Winn-Dixie today. There were BOGO deals on boneless, skinless chicken breast that made it work out to 0.14 per ounce. Pretty good. I stocked up. Also, BOGO on london broil steaks, sirloin steaks and some great prices on boneless center cut chops and ground round. I picked up all of my meat for the month and some extra as well as some frozen stuffed chicken breasts, pickles and jelly for less than $100. Thats 4 packs chicken, 4 packs chops, 2 london broils, 2 steaks, 8 pounds of ground round and the other stuff. Not bad. I will not need to buy any meat for a bit now. Worth buying it now to get it at such good prices.
Back tomorrow with a recipe for a cool summer meal!
I really hate getting that angry. And then, there is really nothing I can do! Yes, i could call the boss myself.... but that is stepping on Steven's toes. Our relationship is very flexible and we respect each other. One thing that I give him and try to never interfere with is his work. That is his. As long as he is paying the bills.... I do not interfere. So, I am giving him the chance to step up and take care of this. Man up, man! Other than that.... I am just juggling. And trying to stay calm. The stress does not do me any good as far as the blood pressure goes.
On another note, the youngest WOM has a very interesting rash going on. It looks like sunburn but it isn't. It is on his chest, stomach and thighs. I talked to the nurse at his pediatricians office. We don't think it is anything to WORRY about yet. If it does not go away or if he develops any other symptoms of anything thing I will be taking him in. It could be Fifths disease but i don't think so. And even if it is.... that's no biggie. And they can't do anything for it anyway. I think it is just a topical allergy of some kind. He has been playing outside a lot. IT may just be irritation from sand or grass bits or who knows what. We will see how he is int he morning.
The eldest WOM is in fine fettle today. He has been driving me crazy and teasing his brother without mercy all day long. Of course, it doesn't help that my living room is currently.... trashed. I guess that is the word I am looking for. Every toy the boys own is in my living room right now. I decided, in my anger yesterday, that I needed to accomplish something. So, I was going to go through their toys and get rid of some and organize the rest and clean their room and then put them away. Yeah. They are still in my living room.
Tomorrow they will be taken care of, one way or another!
So, for now, I am calmer, my house is messier, the boys are themselves and Steven is working. And will, hopefully, have some good news for me when he gets home. Or he just might be sleeping on the couch! LOL
Thursday, June 19, 2008
I can't even describe how incredibly angry I am right now.
I tried to write about it.
I tried to make sense of the feelings that are making me ache all over.
Even my fingernails hurt from clenching my fists so hard.
I can't do it. I can't even figure out what to write.
My temper is the bane of my existence. I have struggled with it my entire life.
Right now I feel justified in my anger. Justified in my fury.
I am so angry I could just cry.
Will post when I am calmer. Hubby's boss is a dickweed.
Ok. Calmed down some. Now I am angry at hubby.
This is the deal. Steven works at this restaurant and is salaried. This is SUPPOSED to mean that he gets paid the same amount every pay period no matter how many hours he works. Which mostly works in the boss' favor in this case as Steven hardly ever takes time off or calls in sick. He also goes in on his days off if they need him. Overall, he usually works about 65 hours each week.
We went to Florida and Steven took a week off of work. We told his boss six months before hand exactly what days he would need off. He said no problem.
Today, Steven gets his check and it is for only one week. The dickweed did not pay him for the week we were in Florida.
Now I ask you. Does salaried mean that the boss can work my husband 65 hours each week and then decide NOT TO PAY HIM when he takes off?
AND, he had plenty of time to let us know that this was the case if he was planning to not pay him. It's not like we sprang it on him. I would not have been happy to hear that but AT LEAST we could have planned ahead financially instead of having ten million bills to pay and only half of the money we need!
As for hubby......
#1 - He was supposed to go in to work a little early today so we could go cash his paycheck. Because I have been counting pennies all week to get gas, cigarettes, bread, etc and we really need the money. I have a doctor's appointment in the AM and need money for that as well. And gas to get to the appointment. So, what does he do? Fucks around and does not get to work until right when he has to be there and then cannot get away to get to the bank. So, now I have to reschedule my appointment in the AM, early, because the bank will not be open early enough for us to cash the damn check and me still get there! Gack!
#2 - I called him just a bit ago to ask if he had spoken with his boss about the pay issue. He said that he hadn't "had the time". HADN'T HAD THE TIME! Ok. Maybe I am just a bitch. Me, if it was me? I would have called him immediately once I saw the check and expected him to come and correct it or at least discuss it with me before I started to do a damn lick of work. But then, Steven is one of those people who just does the work and doesn't want to get into a confrontation. He said he knows what his boss will say about it. That he did not work so he is not getting paid. BULL SHIT!!!!!!! I am so mad. I asked him what he was going to say when his boss told him that and he said he did not know. OK. I get the fact that he does not want to end up without a job since he is our sole means of support. I get that. The pressure for him is pretty strong. BUT. BUT. I also get that he likes working at this place and does not really want to have to find work elsewhere. BUT.
HE is not the one who has to juggle the bills. He is not the one who has to figure out where we are getting the money for gas. Or which bill will let us slide the longest. Or whether we can afford to get FOOD for christ's sake. HE does not worry about any of that. All he does is go to work and come home and sleep. That's it. Every now and then he does a load of dishes or bothers to spend time with his children.
FUCK! Now I am mad at him!
He needs to tell his boss that he either gets the money. Tomorrow. Or he can find a new damn do-boy. Steven has the skills, the knowledge and the experience to get a job in any damn restaurant in the city. Probably making better money. Tom, his boss, has no idea what Steven has done for that restaurant and if he left.... that place would be so screwed. Steven is letting him walk all over him and I am tired of it.
I will post tomorrow. Right now I am going to go and find a strong drink.
THIS is why I can never get anything accomplished in my house.
We went to the doctor and they have had to refer him to a urologist. We are currently awaiting that referral. He still has 3 stones in his kidney as best we know. He is feeling fine right now. Working hard and being the same old smart ass that he usually is. Ha!
Last night for dinner, he made the most awesome Cuban Roast Pork Sandwiches.... yummy. Fresh loaves of cuban bread, roast pork, ham, swiss cheese.... we forgot to buy pickles or they would have been perfect. Yummy again. Sometimes, he does cook at home and then.... it is just wonderful. No matter what he cooks it is great. Unlike me who makes just the basics, he makes wonderful food.
Other than that, nothing is new with the hubby. We are waiting for our friends from Tennessee to move back next week and then maybe the guys will be able to get the band back up and running. Steven NEEDS to play. He has not actually played his guitar in.... a year or more. He has practiced. And tuned. And fiddled around. But no actual balls to the wall playing. He needs that release of aggression. Hopefully they will have a place to practice sometime soon.
So.... more later!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
In other news.....
My friend Jessica from The Barn Bums is struggling a little right now. Her mom is battling cancer and Jessica is struggling with thoughts of mortality. Please send her mom healing thoughts and Jessica some vibes full of strength. I am thinking of you Jess!
I am horribly uninspired this week. I am feeling very blah and mostly kinda uck. With a smattering of pluuuuckkkblugg just to top it off. Nothing is really wrong, per se. Just.... eh. I need inspiration! I need a muse! I need..... well. Something. he.
Any inspirations for me? Any ideas for subjects to write about? I am sure I will be back on track soon. It is probably the fact that my husband has been home from work for most of the past 4 days. So, I have been talking to him and not thinking about blogging. BUT..... anyway.
I will be back if I can think of anything to write about that is at all interesting! LOL
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
Father's Day was a blur here. The boys are really too young to "get" it yet and The Girl is in Florida. We let Daddy sleep in and then he had presents and then a nap and then playtime and then I made him Country Fried Steak for dinner. That was about it. The Wingmen Of Mayhem were out for blood yesterday so it was hectic. But fun, I think.
We watched some movies this weekend and I feel the need to share my impressions.
First, I watched 28 Weeks Later. Eh. If you liked 28 Days Later then you will probably like this one. But, it was a little darker. Depressing at the end, to me. The funky camera angels were still there that made me a little off balance. I am glad I did not go to a theater to see this!
Next, we watched Cloverfield. Double eh. The concept was great. The actual movie.... totally glad I waited for DVD. The way the camera work was done did heighten the tension and your ability to empathize with the people but.... I was let down and very dissatisfied with the ending. Worth seeing for the uniqueness but.... eh.
We then rewatched Alien vs Predator and watched the second AVP, Requiem. I liked the original AVP, not the second so much. I actually fell asleep watching the second one. Of course, it WAS really late... but.... it was Alien vs Predator, folks! Action, gore, gunfire, screaming... and I fell asleep. sigh....
Anyway, I am in search of some great new movies that I may not have seen or been aware of. If you have watched any lately that just did it for you, let me know!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
So... each room will get major attention. Anything that does not belong int he room is out, baseboards washed, walls cleaned, painting and pictures hung, floors cleaned, everything in it's place... then move to the next room. Anything that i cannot find a home for goes in boxes for hubby to go through. If he does not find homes for it in a reasonable length of time... I may just get rid of it.
Wish me luck. I will need it!
Friday, June 13, 2008
It is a challenge this week to make ends meet. We have about $20 to last us until next Thursday. For gas, cigarettes (maybe I will just quit finally) and any groceries we may need. hmmm..... I am thinking it may be time to bust into the change jar.
I actually think we will be ok as far as groceries and any store bought stuff goes. The only thing that may cause a problem is gas for the week. But, that IS why we have the emergency change jar!
I will be back with scenarios for CVS, menus for next week and much much more after the weekend. I am working on some ideas to get this blog a little more active and with more interesting content.... stay tuned. For the one or two people who pop in! LOL
Today she wrote a post about comments that made me think. I love comments. I really do. I write for many reasons... not the least of which is because if I did not I might just go insane and drink some "red rum".... ANYway.... I really like comments. When I write something and post it, it is probably 2/3 because I need/ want to write it and 1/3 to see what everyone says about it and to let people know what is going on with me. I keep thinking i am just weird like that.
Sometimes, when I write something and no one comments I start to get that crazy little voice whispering in my ear. You know the one. Nobody reads the crap you write. That was no good at all. You are an asshat. You should just go eat worms. Oh. You don't hear that voice? Really? ummmm.... forget I mentioned it, kay?
Have you ever gone to one of those huge blogs where there are, like, 147 comments on a post that talks about nothing? And you wonder why? Or, those blogs that you LOVE to read and find so much fun but.... why would the author care what you think when they 542 comments that all say the same thing? Yeah. Me too. I always wonder how these writers feel about getting that many comments. Does it make them feel loved? Is it stressful? DO they respond to them? I very rarely get responses to comments that I leave. If it is on a blog of someone I read regularly who also reads me.... I don't care. They come and visit me on my blog! I do feel that a response is courteous when someone new comes calling though. I'm just sayin'.
As for responses, here's a question for y'all. Some people respond via email to comments (when possible). Some come to your blog and respond on one of your posts. Some respond in the comments section of their own post. Which do you prefer?
And for any lurkers out there...... drop a comment sometimes and make my day! It gets lonely here at the Castle all by myself with the WOMs... I need contact! Really!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
I sit cross-legged
in the tall grass
it waves about my shoulders
growing ripe with the night.
Breathing the night air
full of dreams
I lie back
and stretch my emotions
open to the breeze of summer's welcome.
A halo of fuzzy light
surrounds the moon
hanging above me in half-realized glory.
In the midst of a field of darkness
surrounded by the noises
of damp and happy creatures
glowing streaks of moonlight
illuminate the imperfections
and make them whole.
I dance whole-hearted
in the tall grass
it caresses my skin
glowing brightly with the night.
He cooked 3 sandwiches and cut them up and shared with his brother.
Pretty damn good for an almost 3 yo, huh?
I know that we will be in search of new furniture one day soon. Once the Wingmen Of Mayhem are a little older! So, I thought I would search a little and see what I could find. I found a kickin' platform bed that I am drooling over. And a Rocking Chaise Recliner that I might have to bribe my husband to get me sometime soon..... sigh. I wish.....
You can search on the site by room, by style or by color. They also have advanced search options. And you can check out the most popular styles as well. Their Furniture selection appears to be large and reasonably priced. A little expensive for me, but I am still at the Flea Market furniture stage to be honest. I have a hard time paying $600 for something my kids will ruin. That's why I am waiting! LOL
They have Bedroom Furniture and Living Room Furniture as well as entertainment centers and office furniture. If you are looking for a modern dining room set then check it out. And much more. Wide selection. Free shipping. Fair return policy.
Seems to me to be a pretty great site if you are looking to invest some money in some quality furniture.
The voice in my soul
drives me insane with the incesancy of it's urgings
Ignoring the voice
turning back, turning tail
Railing at the voice
Still it whispers it's tale
questioning and wiggling
at any certainty i might have gained
and find silence alone within myself
alone within my soul
alone without my soul
And then the arms of my soul
slip round me
and hold me
Embracing my soul
Accepting my self
to the inevitable
Does anyone have a great solution for removing permanent marker from skin?
The lady who runs our neighborhood store has a little girl The Boy's age. And she decided to write on herself with permanent marker. On her face. Like makeup. Ha. It's very funny but..... she needs to get it off! LOl I figured somebody would have an idea. i will do a search if I can remember tomorrow.
My headache is back again.
Heading to bed....
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Stargazing.... cloud watching..... moon phases..... peeking in your neighbor's window.... oops! Not that one. Just kidding.
Really, though. I love to watch the sky. There is going to be a TOTAL Solar Eclipse in August! How cool is that?
And, I can't wait to start showing the Boys the stars. The Girl and I bought a telescope years and years ago ( I think it was actually a present from Santa Claus) but it has never worked right. I really want to get a new one. And one that will work RIGHT. I want to be able to see the rings of Saturn. And point out each star in Orion's belt. Have I ever told you that my Middlest child's middle name is Orion? And we also had planned on naming him Cassiopeia if he was a girl..... you can see I like the stars! LOL
Have you ever just laid under the stars and tried to count how many you can see? Some nights, I see very few. I want to see more. I wonder how many there really are in the Universe?
I wonder if ours is really the only one with a planet that has intelligent life on it? And are there people (of one sort or another) on another planet looking through telescopes and seeing out sun and wondering the same thing? How cool would that be?
Check out This Site for some great deals on some great telescopes. They have this really cool astronomical reflector telescope that is less than $70. Now THAT is worth checking out. I wonder if I can get Grandma to buy it for The Boy for his bday? LOL
They also carry binoculars for those of you who really must check out your neighbors..... or for hunters... or whomever uses those things. Actually, I think The Girl has a pair... I wonder what she does with them?
While I was in Florida I saw lots of old friends that I have not seen for a long time. It was bittersweet. It was great to hug them and talk to them and see them. And it was sad because I had to leave again. And also, because I can never go back to the way things used to be. I am not the same person that I was 2 or 3 years ago. I am not even the same person that I was a year ago. I feel things differently now. Different things are important to me.
One of the people that I saw was someone that I loved. Loved more than life itself, it seemed so at the time anyway. I would have died for this man. And I grew away and apart from him. And met my husband. And fell in love with him. And the love that I have for Steven is better and cleaner and stronger than the love that I had for this other man. But, god, to see him again.... it brought back those feelings.
I would never go back to that relationship. It was not healthy. And it was not good. But it was definitely passionate. And crazy. And sexy.
Seeing him again makes me feel.... sad.
And happy. Happy that I am healthy and sane and safe.
But still...... sad.
So, I cry a little bit. And I think that these tears are the healing that I have needed for a long time. the healing that I have been searching for and have not found until now. You never know how much you have grown and changed until you are put back into a situation from your past. You never really know how you will react.
I would not change anything that happened to me in my past. It has made me who I am today. I embrace it, accept it and now... put it behind me. And go on.
My feelings are very close to the surface this week. I seem to be going from happy and excited to depressed and sad to angry and frustrated in the blink of an eye. Right now I am just... quietly sad but relaxed and happy all at the same time.
Yes, I know that I am a bit odd. Ha.
2 Nivea for Men Extreme Shave Gel, $3.99 each
1 Nivea for Men Shave Gel, $2.99
Total before tax = 10.97
Use $4.00/2 (Extreme Comfort Shaving Gels), RP 6/8
Use 1 $2/1 Printable for Nivea
Total after coupons = 4.97
Get back 5 ECB
Now, I have 10 ECBS to spend
CVS Band Aids $1.99 each
2 Listerine Smart Rinse $3.49
CVS Cotton Swabs $3.19 each
Huggies Hair and Body Wash 3.99 each
Total before tax = 16.15
Use 3/15 CVS coupon
Use 2 1/1 Listerine coupons
Use 1/1 Huggies Bath and Body coupon
Total after coupons = 10.15
Use 10 ECB
Pay 0.15 plus tax oop
Get back 12.97 in ECBs
Brut deoderant $2.69
Huggies Body Wash 3.99
4 Coke Products @ 4/11
Total before tax = 17.68
Use 3/15 CVS coupon
Use 1/1 Brut coupon
Total after coupons = 13.68
Use 12.97 in ECBs
Pay 0.71 plus tax oop
Get back 7.99 in ECBs
Schick Quattro Titanium Razor $9.49
Oral B. Cross Action Manual Toothbrushes (2 Pack) $6.99
Total before tax= $16.48
Use $3/$15 Coupon
Use $3/1 Schick Quattro Titanium Coupon
Total after coupons = $10.48
Use 7.99 in ECBs
Pay 2.49 oop
Earn 11.99 in ECBs
Gillette Fusion Razor 9.99
Blade Body Wash 3.99
Brut deoderant 2.69
Total before taxes = 16.67
Use 3/15 CVS coupon
use 4/1 Gillette Coupon
Use 1/1 Brut coupon
Total after coupons = 8.67
Use 6.99 ECB
Pay 1.68 oop
Get back 9 ECB
Walk out with a total of 14 ECB.
Pay a total of $10 oop
hmmm..... I wonder if I can get it below 10? I might have to update later with even better deals....
Check out other scenarios at Money Saving Mom for this week.
Wednesday - Grilled Chicken, Wild Rice, Peas
Thursday - Cowboy beans
Friday - Pasta with red sauce and meat balls, garlic bread
Saturday - hotdogs, french fries
Sunday - Country Fried Steak, mashed potatoes, corn
All of this is stuff that I have on hand in my house. This is good! Because this week, my budget is shot. After being gone for a week on vacation, our money is gone gone gone. I was not very frugal while on vacation..... but we had fun!
Check out the other menus at Menu Saving Monday with Organizing Junkie.
The Boy's therapy went well yesterday. He was very cooperative and showed off many new words. Kip (therapist) always marvels at how smart he is. She thinks he will just turn the words on when he is ready. I can't wait for him to be ready! LOL
I have much housework to do today. I also need to catch up on blogs and posts for my frugal blog. I did not much of anything yesterday. Just did the therapy and doctor visit and tried to keep the kids from killing each other. I was not feeling well at all. I woke up with a headache that would not go away. Luckily, I feel a lot better today.
I have so many things that I want to get accomplished this summer.... maybe I can get some of them done. I need to make sure that I do not over burden myself. I have a tendency to get depressed if I do not accomplish everything that I think that I should. And depression would not be good for me this summer. Being without The Girl to give me a hand and make me giggle sometimes is going to be difficult. I love my husband but he is very rarely home. And when he is home.... he is not much help. Just being honest.
I will try to post more later. Right now, I need to go wash dishes while The Baby is napping. He is in love with the dish washer. I cannot keep him out of it when he is awake and I try to load it! LOL LOL
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Both of the boys made me crazy all day today. It was constant. From 8 AM until just a bit ago. The Boy was overtired and mean all day. he kept antagonizing the Baby and taking his toys. The Baby got mad and was mean back. I can't even blame him. If The Boy does not sleep good tonight I might be forced to eat my young tomorrow. Ha. Oh yeah... The Baby has now discovered how to take his diaper off. He peed on the fireplace hearth today. And was scared of the pee. Very funny stuff.
I am calling their pediatrician on Monday to look into some alternative meds for The Boy's sleep issues. I have heard from several people that melatonin (sp?) is a wonder drug for kids with sleep problems. If I can get him onto a schedule then I think it will be fine. And most of his behaviors lately are because he is tired. He was doing so well for a while. Then..... it all when down the crapper a couple of months ago. No idea why.
I am still exhausted. And the horrid day with the Wingmen did not help at all. Steven is mostly better. I am ready to crash and burn. I think I am going to go to bed soon. Maybe I can get a decent night's sleep tonight.
What percent of 20 is 30?
We have the original number (20) and the comparative number (30). The unknown in this problem is the rate. Since the statement is "(thirty) is (some percentage) of (twenty)", then the variable stands for the percentage, and the equation is:
30 = (x)(20)
30/20 = x = 1.5
Since x stands for a percentage, I need to remember to convert this decimal back into a percentage:
1.5 = 150%
Thirty is 150% of 20.
Or, to make it easier:
What percentage of 60.93 is 28.27? This would figure the percent of my total that i actually paid. To figure savings, subtract and then use the answer as your second number.
So my percent paid is 46%
My savings would be:
My percent saved is 54%.
Ha. Now I remember doing this in school!
Now.... for my transactions!
Duracell Batteries AAA 4 pk @ 2.99
Duracell Batteries AA 12 pk @ 8.99
2 Charmin Ultra Soft 9 pks @ 4.99 each
Used 3/15 CVS coupon
Used 2 .25/1 Charmin coupons
Used 2 .75/1 Duracell coupons
Used 5 ECB
Paid 12.94 oop and received 10 ECB
1 Swiffer Wet Jet Starter Kit @ 19.99
Used 3/15 CVS coupon
Used 5/1 Swiffer coupon
Used 10 ECB
Paid 2.48 oop and my ECB did not print! I will call the 1800 # tomorrow.
2 Dawn Ultra Dish Soaps @ 1.00 each
2 Propel Water 6 packs @ 4.50 each
2 Mitchum Ladies Deoderant @ 3.99 each
Used 3/15 CVS coupon
Used .25/1 Dawn
Used .50/1 Dawn
Used 2 .75/1 Mitchum
Used 2 1/1 Propel
Paid 12.85 oop and received 5 ECB.
Total Product = 60.93
Total oop = 28.27
Total ECB taken home = 5 plus 5 I need to call about.
Not too bad. All of the items I bought are things I need or will use. I would have done more deals (monthly) but I was out of cash and wanted to straighten out the ECB problem with Customer Service before going any further.
Check out other people's great savings this week at Super Savings Saturday on Money Saving Mom!
I will be posting my scenarios for this week sometime this afternoon or Monday AM.
We had a looooong trip to Florida. Ostensibly and supposedly and regularly and many other -ly words.... the trip is 8 hours. IF you drive exactly 70 mph on the interstate and don't stop to eat or change diapers or pee or look at anything. For us, the trip down lasted 11 hours. The worst part was getting from home to Pensacola, FL. That section took FOREVER. At least it felt like it. The rest of the trip was fairly smooth and uneventful. The new van did well. No breakdowns, no unruly, screaming chilluns, no bad things. Just traffic, construction zones and multiple stopping.
When we got to my Mom's house, it was wonderful. I was soooo glad to see her and get a chance to hug her. We unloaded the van and then promptly got back in and went to meet my MIL for dinner and to pick up the baby bed we were borrowing.
The boys were.... uncooperative at bedtime. Not too surprising.
Sunday was meet the family day. All of my numerous relatives converged on my Mom's house for Taco Salad and hug the baby day. Lots of fun. i forgot to take very many pictures because I was too busy visiting with everyone. My grandmother (Meme) is looking very frail. I am glad I had the chance to see her. Just in case. My brothers and my SILs were a blast. We did get pics of The Boy riding on his Uncle's motorcycle in moms yard. He had so much fun. he was not scared of it at all! He cried when we made him get off..... I may have a biker on my hands! LOL
We went to my MIL's house on Monday morning and stayed there for the next few days. We visited with several friends and went to see the new Indiana Jones movie. Great movie... loved it. The Boy went with us and he was clapping and cheering at the right spots. At one point he said "oh, no!" in the middle of the quiet theater as Indy was in trouble and made the whole theater laugh. Great fun.
We never made it out to the bar. Too many other things going on. And sleep issues galore with both boys. But that's ok. We had fun.... shopping! Ha. Steven (DH) is a chef and, therefore, a foodie. I am just a food whore. If it is good... I want it. Really. So, since we HATE our shopping options here at home, we took full advantage of the FL stores. We hit Publix, Albertson's, two different Asian markets and Fresh Market (kinda like Whole Foods). We picked up white and black truffle oil, Mangosteens, lotus roots, tons of spices, organic dried veggie chips (yum) and some kick ass organic teas. And lots more. 20 year old aged balsamic vinegar. Honey Powder. Plum Juice. Sugar cured plums. Organic dried fruits. I don't even remember what else. LOL Steven has plans for some of it and some is just for future use. Tonight he made me mashed potatoes with truffle oil. Ha. I almost wet myself.
We went to Busch Gardens on Wednesday. Left early. Drove down to Tampa (about 2 1/2 hours) and got to the park shortly after it opened. We had a lot of fun. We spent about 3 1/2 hours in Land of the Dragons letting the little ones ride rides and climb in the tree houses. And splash in the water. The Boy rode every ride he could. And loved it. He got to ride each one at least 3 times in a row! LOL The ride would stop and the attendant would come to take him out and he would say "No! Go, Go!" and point ahead! The attendants laughed and said he could ride again each time. He really liked the little mini flume ride. And he LOVED watching his daddy on the big roller coasters! He is also a future coaster rider! LOL
We only got to see about 1/4 of what we wanted. the weather did not cooperate in the late afternoon (typical FL weather) and a lot of rides were shut down due to lightning. I actually did not ride any rides. I wanted to... but the ones I wanted to ride we never got a chance to go on. It's ok. Next year will get here sooner than we think! I got some great footage on the video camera of the kids playing and also looking at the lions in their enclosure, etc. I will post pics and video sometime soon.
We met up with friends of ours at the park int he afternoon and had fun visiting with them as well. We haven;t seen them since our wedding! After the park closed at 7 PM, we went to eat at a local buffet and then headed home around 10 PM.
Thursday, I was supposed to have my Aunt's mechanic check the van for a couple of little issues, but he could not get to it. So, we canceled our planned trip up to my brother's house in Jacksonville. Bummer. Planned to head to the mechanic's shop first thing Friday morning and then leave for home whenever that was done. Steven had to be at work Saturday morning at 8 AM.
I woke up Friday morning and was getting The Boy changed when I heard Steven cry out.
Now, we all know that men are strong and silent, etc and really are big babies when it comes to being sick. So, I just sighed and asked him what was wrong. He came out of the bedroom practically crawling. He doubled up on the floor and was almost crying. And was clutching his stomach area.
The way he was acting my first thought was appendicitis. Then I felt his forehead and he was cool. And I had him show me exactly where it was hurting. Left side, not right. Ok. Not his appendix. I woke up his mother and then called my mom to get the consensus opinion that this was not appendicitis. I thought probably kidney stones. But, you cannot fool around with any pain that severe.
We called our Aunt and she came over. We decided to send Steven to the ER with Aunt Sandy and MIL and I would take the kids and head to the mechanic's. I felt horrible that I was not with him at the hospital. But, I HAD to get to the mechanic's to get the van looked at. And I was pretty sure it was just kidney stones. Very painful, nothing to ignore, but not life threatening. And thank goodness that things worked out the way that they did and we were not in Jacksonville or already on the road home when he started feeling that way!
So, I was a nervous wreck the entire time we were at the shop. And the drive back.
When we heard from them, he was having an MRI and had already had several xrays. He was on IV pain meds and they were pretty sure it was kidney stones, they were just waiting for the MRI to confirm. Big sigh of relief from me. We called Steven's boss and let him know what was up and that he probably would not be at work on Saturday.
He passed one stone from his kidney to his bladder and the pain let up quite a bit. They released him and gave him a prescription for pain meds and anti nausea drugs. He has three more stones in his kidney. We have to schedule him an appointment with a urologist. Ha. Like we can afford that. I will figure it out somehow.
So, he got back from the hospital around noon. I decided after talking to him that we were going to go ahead and come back that night. So he could rest here at home all day Saturday to recover for work on Sunday. If he was up to it.
I loaded the van and we said our goodbyes and started the trip home.
It took 9 hours to get home. Steven and both boys slept almost the entire way. I was exhausted.
I still am.
Emotionally and physically I am feeling wrung out and just exhausted.
I plan to do very little this weekend except relax and watch the kids play....
and maybe blog a little bit! LOL
Saturday, June 7, 2008
I will post soon with CVS scenarios and more.
I also need to set up my menu for this week......
For now.... we are home and all are safe and sound. We had a good time in between the craziness. I am going to read blogs and catch up on what everyone else has been up to!
Monday, June 2, 2008
Pictures, video and the whole tale to come when i get back.....